So, I was trying to light some candles on my daughter's birthday cake. Usually that doesn't pose too much of a problem. Usually. Today was not the usual. Maybe it has something to do with the big bump on my head that I got a few days ago. I don't know.
First, I tried to light a candle with an old book of matches. I tried, and I tried, and I tried. But it didn't work. The darn things wouldn't light. So I threw them away.
Then I tried a lighter. That didn't work. So I threw it away.
Then I tried another lighter. And I burned my fingers.
Then, I said, "Heck with the lighter, I'll get another book a matches."
These matches were the wooden kind. Usually those work pretty well. Usually.
Well, as I lit the thing, the match snapped in half, landing on our kitchen table, which is made of wood.
"Fire!" my son yelled.
I quickly extinguished it.
"Okay. I give up," I said. "Daddy, you do it."
Of course he got it on the first try.