It was time for the beast's yearly checkup and shots. And you can imagine how that went!
After collecting a fresh fecal sample from the backyard, I hauled that furry varmint into the back seat of my car. I got in the front seat.
"Pant, pant, pant." His giant head was next to me, and he was panting in my ear.
"Schultz, sit back and put your seat belt on!"
He didn't put his seat belt on. Instead he drooled all over my armrest.
"Schultz! That's disgusting!"
He didn't care.
When we got to the vet's office, he was so exuberant, he could barely contain himself.
"Okay, can you get him on the scale?" the vet assistant asked.
"Are you kidding? You want this giant wild beast to stand still on that little itty bitty thing?"
We wrestled the ninety pound bundle of energy and got him to stand on the scale for a whole two seconds.
Then it was time to draw blood. Oh boy! Schultz did not like that one bit!
The vet entered soon after. "Hi, Schultz! Have you been a good boy?"
We attempted to make him sit still for the shots. No deal. "We're going to call the back up help," the vet said. Three techs came in. "All right. Hold him down!"
It wasn't easy, but with some tender loving care from yours truly, we got the job done.
I can't wait to do this again next year!