I went outside to water my plants today, and happened to notice that one of my onions was ready to be harvested. I pulled it out of the ground, washed it off, and laid down while I continued my watering. (Yeah, I probably should've left it in the ground until I was finished watering, but my brain wasn't working so well.)
Anyway, a certain hairy beast, AKA Schultz, the German Shepherd, came bolting out of the house. (Why do my kids always release him when I'm trying to water the garden? ) He ran into the water and trampled my flowers, as usual.
"Schultz, get out of here!" I said.
To my amazement, he actually listened.
I continued watering the flowers. When I was done, I put away the hose and turned my attention to the dog. What do you think he was doing? Yep. Munching on the onion.
"Dog, what the heck is the matter with you?" I bellowed.
He looked at me and cocked his head.
"Get over here!"
He got up and dropped the half-chewed onion at my feet. I stooped down to pick it up and got a whiff of some serious onion breath. Disgusting!
"Come on, dog. You're getting your teeth brushed."
I took him in the house and brushed his pearly whites with chicken-flavored toothpaste. I'm not quite sure it had the desired effect, because now the beast smells like he had a chicken dinner with raw onions.