Mama Diaries

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Beethoven According to My Husband

Today, I dragged my family to see Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, played by the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra.  (We have a new conductor, so I thought it would be nice to support him.)

It was like pulling teeth to get them to go.

"Mama, do we have to go?" my son said.

"Mom, that's going to be really boring," my daughter said.

My husband just gave me one of his looks.

I had to do some quick thinking. "They sell chocolate candy there."

That did the trick. 

We went to the concert and sat there for two hours, listening to the music.   My kids were indeed bored out of their minds.

Afterwards, my husband gave his commentary:  "Why was that symphony so long? It should've been over in 45 minutes.  He just kept repeating  the same thing, over and over again."

"He was trying to convey the message of brotherhood and hope," I said.  "He probably wanted to make sure it was understood."

My husband looked at me like I was crazy.  "Here's what I think.  I think the guy was a senile, confused, deaf old guy, who couldn't remember what he wrote, so he kept writing it over and over.  I mean, what guy in his right mind would write a piece and make a choir sit there for an hour and a half before they even start singing?  What if they have to go to the bathroom?  No, he just expects them to sit there and be ready to sing perfectly when it's time!"

 He went on.  "Why didn't somebody take a look at the manuscript and figure out how to make it better?  What's wrong with you musicians? "

"Excuse me?" I said.  "What do you mean, 'what's wrong with musicians?'"

"You guys just play that stuff and pretend like it's okay.  Do you know why?"

"Why?"  I asked.

"Because you musicians are a bunch of psychopath emotional basket cases."

The kids put in their two cents.  "Yeah, Mom, you're a psychopath emotional basket case!  You play just like all those musicians on the stage - you twitch around just like they do."

Then Bubba added, "Yeah, Mama, and your hair looks just like Beethoven's!"

What the heck?  Do you think my hair looks like Beethoven's?  So there you have it.  Remind me never, ever, ever to take my family to an orchestra concert  again! 

.

      

29 comments:

  1. I am going to track down your husband and cut off his balls. I apologize if this promise shocks you, but it must be done. And Beethoven told me he thinks you are beautiful and he wishes he could have been so good looking.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. OMG Janie! Don't you think that's a little extreme? LOL! Thanks for sharing Beethoven's message. It made my day! Hugs!

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  2. I would have loved to have gone to that! I miss the days of going to see my teacher play in the Orlando Symphony Orchestra. I think he still does but it has been 20 years and he probably doesn't remember me, but there is nothing like watching a piece of music come alive

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    1. Next time, I'll take you, since it seems I'm the only one in my family who has an appreciation for the finer things in life!

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  3. ummm no, your hair is so much better! and sorry your family didn't appreciate it! sometimes its just better to go out alone or with your girls :)

    happyleeliving.blogspot.com

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    1. LOL! Thanks, Marsa! That's exactly what I'm going to do - go myself, or take my friends.

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  4. Still, it's good that you all went and had the experience LOL.

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    1. Yes, and the kids did like the chocolate!

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  5. hahaha your hair is fine, but on the rest I may sorta agree, as I'd also be bored out of my tree.

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    1. Well then, I'll make sure I never ever ever invite you to an orchestra concert! LOL!

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  6. Hahaha! Your family sounds like mine!! Hang in there, it may get better...and it may not. ;)

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    1. Ha! Maybe, but I'm thinking more like not!

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  7. *LOL* I don't think I could ever get my husband to come to a symphony. I barely managed to get him to see Les Miserables with me!

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    1. It kind of frustrates me that nobody in my family has the same appreciation of music as I do. What's up with that?

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  8. I'm not a musician, but I would have loved to hang out with you at that concert.

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  9. Well, I would have loved to have gone with you! Sounds wonderful. :)

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    1. Okay, there are about three of you who said they'd come, so we'll have to get together and do that!

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  10. awesome story. Did they ever get their chocolate?

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    1. Yes, they did! It was our first stop when we got there. They got a bag of chocolate covered peanuts, and a bag of chocolate covered pretzles.

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  11. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought that about you and Beethoven... ;)

    My parents were constantly dragging us to classical concerts. Sometimes I loved it, but a lot of the time I was bored. Luckily they let me bring a book.

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    1. Hey now, don't you be making fun of my hair! LOL!

      (Glad you enjoyed at least of few concerts.)

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  12. Lovely and fun post! I would have loved to see the expression on your face in answer to your husband!

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    1. Hahaha! I gave him my best growly bear impression!

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  13. haha he is one of my favorite composers--although i have to admit to a conversation with robyn's musician fiance about how much we hate music theory classes :)

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    1. LOL! Yeah, unless you're a psycho analytical musician like myself, those theory classes can be pretty boring.

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  14. I was thinking chocolate makes everything better until I read the rest of your post. So sorry that they did not find the experience enjoyable.

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    1. They lived. It's good they went, because it broadens their horizons. Maybe someday they'll actually like classical music. Maybe. LOL!

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  15. You're hair doesn't look at all like Beethovan's.
    And never say never. :)

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