Mama Diaries

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Chicken Conversations

I don't know what it is, but every time I make chicken, the weirdest things happen.  Last night was no different.  After the chicken was cooked, I looked for the shears to cut it into pieces.  I couldn't find them, so I resorted to the next best thing:  my bare hands.  My daughter saw me.  "Mom," she said. "Why are you dismembering a chicken like that. Do you have anger issues?"

"Why, yes I do, thank you very much.  Now go sit down and stay out of my way!"

She looked at me funny, but did as I asked.

I plopped the mutilated chicken in front of my kids. They looked at it and began eating.

"Mama," my son said.  "What came first, the chicken or the egg?"

Didn't I just have this conversation not too long ago?  "The egg, Bubba.  The first chicken was a mutation from a dinosaur."

"No, Mama.  The first chicken came from outer space.  Chickens used to live on the planet where the water turned into rock."

"Mars?" I asked.

"Yeah, that one." 

"Then what happened to them?" I figured this would be a good one.

My daughter had the answer.  "A mom with anger issues tore them to pieces with her bare hands."

Okay. So I'm the one responsible for the mass extinction of chickens on Mars.  I think the Earth chickens had better look out!

26 comments:

  1. Oh your cruel woman........lol

    Yvonne.

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  2. You must have wanted posters all through out the galaxy

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    1. Yes. In my last outing in my spaceship, I noticed a few plastered on the bottom of some asteroids.

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  3. First, you have an uncanny ability to put on socks when no one else can, and now you can make chickens go extinct with your bare hands? There's no end to your list of superpowers, is there? ;)

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  4. And there was me thinking that you were a nice, sane woman. And then I find out you're a alien chicken murdering fiend!

    Your kids are just waaaay too funny! :)

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  5. ROFL! Oh my goodness, your daughter is a riot! Better watch out for her - she's a precocious one, I can tell. :-)

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  6. Did you have something to do with the dinosaurs disappearing, too?

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    1. Yeah. I dismembered them with my bare hands. You should've seen me wrestling with those T-Rexes!

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  7. When I clicked on your blog, the post title immediately made me chuckle. The egg and chicken debate did occur to me prior to reading, but your daughter's theory is definitely hilarious and completely unexpected. :D

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    1. It's just a matter of time before scientist discover the bones of all those dismembered chickens on Mars.

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  8. Oh! La...la! Your daughter is going to go places...

    Nas

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  9. Just showing off your strength, right?

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  10. 'tis true, moms are the reason for all intergalactic problems!

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  11. I had no idea you could be so vicious.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. It's my alter ego. I try to suppress my violent tendencies, but under extreme stress, they are revealed. ;)

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  12. LOL! A chicken ripper! :)

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  13. Very cute and funny blog, Sherry, as usual! Maybe you should put out some kind of announcement-like an APB so the chickens everywhere will have fair warning!

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    1. Nah! We'll just let them run for cover when they see me!

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