I think there's something crazy going on with my brain. But you already knew that, right? Last night I had a very bizarre dream. Usually I don't remember my dreams, but this was so crazy, I couldn't help but remember it.
I was in a desert wilderness. As I walked, I noticed "caves" in the sand. They weren't normal caves - they we like holes in the ground under miniature rock outcroppings. Puzzled, I peered into one of them. That's when I noticed movement. The whole space shifted. It didn't make sense. What was it?
I walked on and encountered another "cave." But this time the creature that was inside came out. Do you know what it was? A giant spider! Black and hairy like a tarantula, but as big as a car. It came at me with its mandibles clicking. It looked like I was lunch.
I did a super-human leap away from that thing and watched. It turned out that the arachnid had its sights on something else. My son! Somehow Bubba ended up in the dream. The big, bad spider spotted him aimlessly walking and decided he'd make a nice snack.
Uh oh, I thought. Time to do battle!
With another super-human leap, I tackled the spider, picked it up, and threw it so it landed on its back. But that wasn't the end of the story. Giant hairy spiders have friends, and the friends came out to fight.
I brandished my sword (yeah, I don't know where that came from.), did a few slick ninja moves, and skewered a couple of arachnids, but not before one of them bit me. My arm started tingling. That wasn't good! I was about to mutilate that nasty arachnid, but I was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Mama!" It was my son, and his call sounded like a pathetic moan. I looked at the clock. 4:50 AM. I crawled out of bed and opened the door. My son was lying in a fetal position on the ground. "I'm sick!"
He sure was! He had a fever, sick tummy, headache, sore throat, and was extremely dizzy.
Time to do battle! I did a slick ninja move to the medicine cabinet and brandished a bottle of Motrin.
"Take that you stupid spiders," I said.
My son looked at me funny. "Are you okay, Mama?"
Yeah. Just another night on the job.