Mama Diaries

Sunday, February 9, 2014

The Moron Test

"Mom," my twelve-year-old daughter said.  "Do you want to take the moron test?"

I tried not to laugh.  "I don't think I need to take the moron test.  We already know I'm one of those."

She handed her iPod to me.  "Take it anyway."

I looked at the screen.  "What am I supposed to do?"

"Follow the instructions.  If you can't do that, you're a moron."

I suppressed a giggle and read the first instruction:  Press the red button.

I did. Somehow I managed to do that correctly.

I was then given a series of tasks to complete - ordering the sizes of ducks from biggest to smallest, tapping colored circles, and adding numbers.  Progressing through these tasks successfully, I was given the rank "average mammal."  It was time for the next level.

"Tap the screen five times," it said.

I did.  The iPod did nothing.  "What's the problem?" I asked.

My daughter took the device from my hands.  "You're supposed to tap it five times."

"I did," I said.  "But it's stuck here."

She tapped it one more time.

"FAIL!" the screen blared.

My daughter threw the iPod on her bed. "Moron!" she shouted at it.  "That's the dumbest test ever!"

44 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Ha! If Mama had failed, it would've been the most awesome test!

      Delete
  2. sounds like devil's machine that iPod, it does!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is. I try to stay away from it as much as possible!

      Delete
  3. I would have failed, too. Don't try it again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. *LOL* I think it's the iPod's job to make morons of us all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right. Because robots are superior to humans. ;0)

      Delete
  5. Second time through is the charm?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not even going to test that theory!

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. LOL! I personally think the test was moronic. (Is that a word?) ;)

      Delete
  7. Ha! I won't bow down to the god of Apple! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. People waste so much time playing games like that. There are too many other things to do!

      Delete
  9. How funny. Some of those tests and quizzes are pretty whacky.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I would fail the test. I have trouble tapping with the correct force and speed.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe that's my problem. I use piano technique on the iPod, and it never works. ;0)

      Delete
  11. Looks great. I too have undergone a test same like this in my training which made be fool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am certain those tests are less than accurate!

      Delete
  12. That doesn't count since it seems tricky. None of you are morons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! We needed that boost of confidence!

      Delete
  13. Haha :) That's awesome :) And yeah, I don't think I'd pass a moron test...unless it was to prove I was one.

    Sarah Allen
    (From Sarah, With Joy)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Must admit my kids wouldn't even bother testing me, they know the answer! Popping in to say hello as a fellow team member for MJ :)
    Suzanne @ Suzannes Tribe
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All parents are morons, right?

      And hello fellow minion!

      Delete
  15. It seems like there is a sage lesson in here somewhere. I am just not certain what it is. Be careful what you do because the tester could turn on the testee at any given time? If you listen to the opinions of machines, does that make you a moron or genius? Or is it one of those eye-opening lessons for teens when you realize that technology isn't always right? Tests are for dummies? All of the above? None?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're making me think too much! My punitive mind can't handle it. ;0)

      Delete
  16. That's awesome. I don't need an iPod to know that I'm a moron. I have a Zune. Therefore I failed before I even took the test.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Maybe you and I should start a moron club.

      Delete
  17. LOL!!! Oh, that's amazing. I totally need to find that one and put it in front of my hubby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you think he'll do when he finds out he's a moron? LOL!

      Delete
  18. That is funny, but you never have to worry about how you'd rate! We know you're not a moron. I don't think First Violinists need to worry! )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I'm a violist. Violists are notorious morons! ;0)

      Delete
  19. Hmmm, it would appear that sometimes a test really IS defective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It couldn't be the operators, could it? ;0)

      Delete