Mama Diaries

Monday, August 4, 2014

How to Stop Eating Cake

As most of you know, there have been a lot of birthday parties at my pad.  Which means a lot of cake.  Cake is good.  But too much isn't.  My family and I have clearly had too much.  So we have devised a great plan to stop eating cake.  It goes like this:

Step 1:  Get lots of goopy frosting  on the bottom of the lid that covers the cake.  (If you have your cake in a box, get lots of goopy frosting and use it to seal the box.)

Step 2:  Cover the cake and press firmly on the lid to ensure the goopy frosting has sealed the lid to the cake dish.

Step 3:  Allow goopy frosting to dry overnight.

Step 4:  Test the next day, by attempting to lift the lid off the cake dish.  If you've done a good job, the lid will remain firmly fastened.  If not, repeat steps 1 - 3.

Step 5:  Allow cake to sit under the lid for at least one week.  By that time, it should become a completely disgusting, unappetizing blob of sugar and bacteria, that nobody in their right mind would want to ingest.


And there you have it.  After this fantastic process, you will not want to eat another piece of cake for the rest of your life.

(Your welcome!)

46 comments:

  1. Or you just don't buy anymore cakes!
    Usually by the time we hit the halfway point of a cake, my wife and I are both sick of it.

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    1. I will not be making or buying cake any time soon!

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  2. Sorry, I would be repeating step #1 over and over again till there is no more frosting!

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    1. Haha! Yes. It's best to get rid of the frosting, too!

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  3. wouldn't it be easier to just let the cat and Schultz get rid of it? And more generous too? :)

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  4. After you put that image in my head I might not look at cake the same way again. How sad.

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  5. August is a big month for cake over here. I'll keep your tips in mind. :)

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  6. Thank you. I need these wise instructions. Of course, I am already thinking about a way to bypass the plan, such as scraping off a little dried, goopy frosting with a knife and allowing it to melt in my mouth. Scrape and repeat until the cake container opens. Exhaustion has set in from the difficult job. Eat the rest of the cake while saying, nom, nom, nom. I'm revived!

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Haha! You have such willpower, Janie!

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  7. This sounds like a Mission Impossible assignment, but I'm giving it a try.

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  8. Ironically, in your sidebar right now is an advertisement for cake decorating classes.

    I always try to give cake away if I know it will be left at my house. No really, you must take some home. There is no such thing as too much cake. I insist you take 4, even 5, pieces. Well, if your family will eat the whole cake, you must take it. I wouldn't want to deprive them...

    Unless it is ice cream cake. And then all bets are off. You touch that cake and you lose a finger.

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    1. Haha! Isn't it funny how those adds work? They find a word and go with it. Oddly enough, I'm not a huge fan of ice cream cake. Although I do like ice cream.

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  9. I can see your tips are a big hit. You're going to start a new trend. Only the execs of the cake companies will be depressed. D

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    1. My sincere apologies to Betty Crocker, Pillsbury and Duncan Hines!

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  10. Or just leave cake on counter and Schultz will take care of it lol

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    1. I would do that, but I'm afraid Schultz would get sick, and that would be an even bigger mess to clean up.

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  11. Yeah, that wouldn't deter me (I'd just cut a whole through the lid to get to the cake). I take cake eating very seriously, lol :D

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    1. Haha! Even blackened bacteria-covered cake?

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  12. LOL, that's certainly a foolproof way to avoid eating cake... ;)

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  13. Do you have any tips for cooking and brownies? Those are my bigger problems.

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    1. Maybe if you burn a few batches, the smell will make you sick enough not to want them. (It worked for me!)

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  14. *LOL* I don't think it would stop some people I know!

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    1. From the replies here, I'd say you're right!

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  15. Oh my, isn't it funny how so many of us won't leave food alone until it is ruined in some way?! I hve actually heard of this as an overall diet tip before. I guess it makes sense. So much of enjoying food is the appearance and aroma.

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    1. It has to be completely disgusting for us to stay away from it.

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  16. But my question is, why would anyone ever, in their right mind, want to stop eating cake????

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    1. Because too much cake makes you sick and fat! ;0)

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  17. How to stop eating cake?
    I just saw Matt Black's Dr. Heckle blog. In it, he had a picture of a cake with "Find the Toenail" written on the frosting.
    Yep, that'll do it.

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    1. Yeah. Great idea. Trim your toenails with the cake under your foot! Thanks!

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  18. Now that sounds like a winning plan to me!

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  19. Or you could work in a bakery for a while--you'll never want to see cake again that way, either! I've found cupcakes or those tiny cakes are the best--but with kids, that might not be elaborate enough! Leftover cake is the enemy for me. It calls my name.

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    1. I've heard working in bakeries or candy factories can really curb your appetite for those things.

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  20. I'll bear this in mind. Now do you have any ideas for chocolate?

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  21. Now that's an interesting idea. I bet Schultz might have still been interested in checking it out even after the cake was smushed. : )

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