Mama Diaries

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

More Food, Please

This is part two of my family's Thanksgiving shenanigans.

So, I had spent two days baking and cooking for our Thanksgiving feast. I made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, pumpkin pie, a cranberry walnut tart, green bean/ corn casserole, squash casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and a sixteen-pound turkey. It was a ridiculous amount of food.

My family devoured everything, and complained about how stuffed they were afterwards. I'm sure you're familiar with the story if you live in the good old USA.

Four hours later, at around 10:00 PM, I walked into the kitchen and found my son, my daughter, and my daughter's friend mixing ingredients. That's right. They were getting ready to bake.

"What the heck are you doing?" I asked, completely flabbergasted. "We have a ton of food in the refrigerator. You don't need to make more. Besides, it's way too late to be baking and eating even more food!"

"But, Mom," my daughter said. "You didn't make monkey bread. And it's never too late to make monkey bread."

Ugh!

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Turducken

First of all, I'd like to wish all of my American friends a very Happy Thanksgiving!

As I was preparing our traditional Thanksgiving meal of turkey and the fixings, my son came up and made a face. "We're having turkey, again?"

I made a face back at him. "Of course we are. It's Thanksgiving. We eat turkey on Thanksgiving."

"We should try something different."

"Like what?"

"Turducken."

"What?" That sounded like some alien life form.

"It's a turkey stuffed with duck and chicken."

I thought he was making this up. "There's no such thing, Bubba. Don't be ridiculous."

He grabbed his handy dandy computer and pulled up a picture. "Here it is!"


Okay. Well, it's a real thing. But if you ask me, it looks like a turkey, but with a whole lot more work involved. I'm just going to stick with our traditional turkey, thank you very much!

(Has anyone ever tried this? I wonder how it tastes.)   

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Question of the Month and Chasing Deer



It's time for another (late) Question of the Month hosted by Michael D'Agostino. This month's question has to do with a first kiss. I can't remember the details of the question, because it's lost somewhere in my vast quantities of emails. All I'm going to say, is that I was thirteen years old when I had my first kiss, and it wasn't from my husband. That's more than you ever need to know.


Now for the story:


As you know, our German Shepherd, Schultz, likes to chase deer. There have been several stories here about him doing so. But there has never been a story about the Mama chasing deer. Yep. That's right. This crazy old lady decided to teach those oversized rodents a lesson.


Schultz was in the backyard barking his head off. I looked out the window to see what the problem was. A herd of about ten deer was casually grazing behind our fence. Schultz was doing his best to make them go away, but the deer, being the insolent lot they are, didn't care. It's like they were totally disrespecting the dog.


Disrespectful deer really tick me off. So I got on my shoes and jacket and went out into the yard. The rodents stopped momentarily to look at me, and then continued. I'm sure they thought they were perfectly safe. There's no way any creature on the other side of that gate could get to them.


They were wrong. I walked over to the gate, lifted the latch, and walked onto their side. You should've seen the look on their faces! They bolted toward the river. I followed. They stopped at the bank and looked back at me. "I see you," I said. "And I'm coming to get you!"


They knew I meant business. They ran through the river to the other side. Up the hill they went, until they were out of sight.


I think the deer and I have an understanding. No more disrespecting the dog. If they do, they have to deal with the Mama!




I have one more thing to say. I seem to be having some trouble commenting on some of your blogs. I can type my comment on your page, but there is no way for it to be published. Not sure what the problem is. For those of you who have Google sharing capabilities on your page, I've been sharing on Google and commenting there. If you don't have that, you won't be seeing any comments from me, even though I'm reading your posts. Just wanted to let you all know. Hopefully the problem will get fixed soon.   
    


Thursday, November 10, 2016

Crystal Collier and Timeless


Welcome Crystal Collier here today to share her new book!

In 1771, Alexia had everything: the man of her dreams, reconciliation with her father, even a child on the way. But she was never meant to stay. It broke her heart, but Alexia heeded destiny and traveled five hundred years back to stop the Soulless from becoming.

In the thirteenth century, the Holy Roman Church has ordered the Knights Templar to exterminate the Passionate, her bloodline. As Alexia fights this new threat—along with an unfathomable evil and her own heart—the Soulless genesis nears. But none of her hard-won battles may matter if she dies in childbirth before completing her mission.

Can Alexia escape her own clock?

BUY: Amazon | B&N

Author Interview


1. Did you start writing Moonless, thinking you were going to make a trilogy series, or did it just happen that way?

My first draft of Moonless (in 2002) was a novella. A historical love story about a woman defying society and her father. It wasn’t until the next draft it wrapped its fingers around one of my much older characters. That was the point at which I knew it was going to evolve, but the key to publishing is being open to follow success. If a book does well in the market, it deserves sequel—maybe more. Because of that, I wrote it as a standalone, but I had the beginnings of both a second and third book written, just waiting for the green light.

2. How long did it take you to write your latest book, Timeless?

To write it, or rewrite it? Or rewrite it again? This book suffered from baby syndrome. I was expecting while drafting, and all my creative powers were sucked into my baby girl. (Friends, don’t try this at home.) Welcome the no-sleep/newborn stage. The first, awful draft (45,000 words, 150 pages,) took about a year…after ripping out 30,000 words (about 90 pages) because the dual time stream was breaking my brain. (No exaggeration.) The next draft was six-week rewrite, then another major rewrite. Then 2.5 months of edits. Of the original 45,000 words, about 10,000 (30 pages) survived to the final draft. 1.5 years of work.

3. And since you are the "Cheese Lady," what's your favorite kind of cheese?

Who is my favorite child? Oh, you asked my favorite cheese. My question is easier. ;) No. I don’t have a “favorite”, but MANY.
 
Vanilla cheese (goes with anything): muenster, runner up is mild cheddar
Swiss variety: Jarlsberg
Italian: Provolone, followed by Romano
Savory: Feta
Comfort cheese: smoked gouda or Colby jack
Sweet cheese: Fontina
Fun cheese: squeaky cheese! (Cheddar cheese curds.)


Crystal Collier is an eclectic author who pens clean fantasy/sci-fi, historical, and romance stories with the occasional touch of humor, horror, or inspiration. She practices her brother-induced ninja skills while teaching children or madly typing about fantastic and impossible creatures. She has lived from coast to coast and now calls Florida home with her creative husband, four littles, and “friend” (a.k.a. the zombie locked in her closet). Secretly, she dreams of world domination and a bottomless supply of cheese.



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Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Living Decorations

Yeah. I know. I've been MIA for a while. I'm the coordinator for a big concerto competition, and I've been super busy working on that. I have a brief moment, so I'll share a story before I disappear again.


My son wanted a Halloween party. Since I've been so busy, I wasn't really feeling like doing one, but I did it anyway. I decorated the house. These decorations included silhouettes of bugs and rodents. The entire entranceway had them all over the walls and floor. It looked pretty cool.


When the guests arrived, they commented on how good it all looked.


"I like the bugs you have outside around your door," one of the guests said.


Outside around the door? I didn't recall putting any out there.


I went outside to see what he was talking about.


Do you know what I saw? Swarms of June bugs all around my entrance. It was a major infestation! The place was crawling with them.


Guess Mother Nature did her own decorating!


(Hope y'all had a nice Halloween!)