Good Advice

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "I have some good advice for you."

"Oh yeah?" I said.  "What?"

"Never jump out of an airplane that somebody is living in."

I tried not to laugh.  "Okay.  Why wouldn't you want to do that?"

He gave me the explanation.  "I saw this on the show, Ten Major Fails.  A man sky dived out of an airplane that his friend was living in, and Coke cans got stuck in his parachute.  The parachute didn't open when he jumped."

I tried to visualize this situation.  I couldn't really imagine how that would've happened, but I guess stranger things have occurred.  "So what did the guy do?" I asked.

"He activated his backup.  But that one ended up having a hole in it."

"That sounds bad," I said.

"Lucky for him, he had a burrito."

"A burrito?  How did a burrito help him?"  I couldn't imagine where this story was going.

"He used the tortilla part to cover the hole."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded.  "Did he land safely?"

Bubba shook his head.  "No.  He crashed through a glass ceiling into his high school reunion."

"You're kidding, right?"  This sounded like the biggest fish tale ever.

Bubba shook his head.  "No.  I'm serious.  He wanted to make a big entrance."

 A big entrance, indeed!

So, ladies and gentlemen, here is the profound bit of advice I got out of that conversation:  If you ever jump out of an airplane, make sure it's not one somebody is living in, don't land on a building, and make sure you have a burrito with you.  It could save your life!