Let me tell you about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Which was actually kind of funny, in a weird sort of way.
Georgia, the fine state in which I live, had experienced a drought. We had no rain for a couple of months. Well, that all changed on the day my son and I were scheduled to go Christmas caroling with a nice group from church. Of course, on that day, the heavens opened, and the rain came down. Mama got soaked. Did I mention it was cold?
Then, I came home (still wet and cold) and did some laundry. Except I had a little problem. Somebody had lost the cap to the laundry detergent. You may or may not be familiar with how the mega-sized liquid detergent bottles work. There are actually two spouts. One is a spigot, where you press a button and detergent flows out, and the other is the cap, where you can pour it out. Since my washing machine is a tall, super high power thing, it's much easier to use the spigot. Which I did. But I didn't notice that the cap was missing on the other opening. Guess what happened? As I used the spigot, I tilted the container. As I did, liquid detergent poured out of the top, onto my head, and on my clothes.
So now, I was cold, wet, and covered in detergent.
But that's not all.
I went down to the kitchen to pack my kids' lunches for school. As I reached for the sandwich bags, which were on a very high shelf in the pantry, I knocked something over. A glass bottle of shrimp cocktail sauce. It splattered on the floor, breaking in a million pieces, covering me, the cabinet, and the floor with red goop.
All I could think was, why? Why couldn't the shrimp cocktail sauce have fallen first? And then the detergent, and then the cold rain. At least I would have been clean. But no. I had to end my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day as a strange-smelling, cold, grouchy, irritated catastrophe.