Mama Diaries

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Johnny Orangeseed

"Guess what I did, today?" my eleven-year-old son said when he came home from school.

"What did you do?" I couldn't wait to hear this one.

"I planted the orange seeds from the orange you gave me in my lunch."

"You did?" I asked. "I'm not sure they'll grow here. It might get too cold for them in the winter."

"I didn't plant all of them outside," he said. "I planted some inside."

"Where?" I asked.

"In the cafeteria."

"What?" I couldn't imagine where this was going.

"Yeah. The janitor doesn't do a very good job of sweeping, so I made a pile of dirt and garbage with my feet under the table and planted one there."

I tried not to laugh. "Seriously? Don't you think that's going to get swept up?"

He shook his head. "No. It'll be there for at least a year." He continued. "I planted more, too."

"Where, Bubba? In the bathroom?"

He grinned. "How did you guess?"

I shook my head. "It seemed like something you would do.  Where in the bathroom did you plant it?" 

"I took a paper towel, got it wet, and wrapped the seed inside. Then I put it under the sink. I'm sure the janitor won't see it."


(He also planted some seeds outside in the class garden. Any bets on which ones will come up first?)

Monday, September 28, 2015

Pancake Art

"Mom," my teenage daughter said. "Can you make pancakes?"

"Sure," I said. "Are you craving them?"

She shook her head. "No. I want to make pancake art."


"Pancake art. Everybody is doing it. Here, look at these pictures." She rolled through her Instagram photos and showed me all kinds of artistic pancake "carvings" her friends had made. They were impressive.

"Okay," I said. "But when you're done playing with your food, are you going to eat it?"

"No. Carbs aren't good for you."


In case you want to see a sample of pancake art, here's a picture:

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Hungry Lunch Box

My boy came home from school and tossed his lunch box on the counter. I opened it to clean it and prepare for the next day's lunch. What I saw inside was disgusting.

"Dude," I said. "Why do you have to leave half-eaten sandwiches and fruit in here? Can't you just toss uneaten things in the garbage?"

He shook his head. "No, Mama. The lunch box told me it was hungry. I'm just sharing my food so it doesn't have to starve."

Oy. I think I've heard it all, now!   

Monday, September 21, 2015

Pickle Craving

The other day, I caught my eleven-year-old son sitting at the kitchen table. He had a jar of pickles in front of him. The boy was eating the pickles.

I sat down next to him and watched. The kid literally ate four pickle spears while I was sitting there. When he was done, there were two pickles remaining.

"Dude, how many pickles did you just eat?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It was a new jar, so just about all of them."

I calculated that there were eight pickle spears in each jar. Bubba had eaten six of them.

"You ate six pickles?"

"Yeah. They were good. McClure's pickles are the best! Can you get more when you go to the store?"

Oy! (At least he's a boy, so I know he's not pregnant!)

Before I go, I just want to say I'm going to be a little sporadic about posting for a while (in case you haven't noticed). I'm writing pieces for two anthologies, and I'm also preparing for a viola recital in a few weeks (in addition to my usual insanity.) If you're in the Atlanta, Georgia area, I invite you to come and hear me play.  Here's the information:

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Bubba's Special Drink

"Mama," my eleven year old son said. "I made you a special drink. Come in the kitchen to get it."

I couldn't wait to see what this was about.

I walked in and found a cup filled with water. But it was upside down. I'm not kidding. The opening was against the counter.

I looked at my boy. "Bubba, are you kidding?"

At this point, he was laughing hysterically.  "You have to drink it, Mama!"

"Dude, there's no way I can pick it up without spilling the water."

So, the cup is sitting on my counter, while I figure out how to deal with this special drink.

(In case you are wondering, Bubba did the old magic card trick. He covered the cup with the card, flipped the cup over, and removed the card. Pretty good trick!)


Monday, September 14, 2015

Cookie Crisis

Usually, I bake homemade cookies every week. This week, I simply didn't have time. Apparently, this was a problem.

As I sat at the computer, doing my work, I heard a strange sound - something that resembled the sound of a siren.

I wondered which member of my household was making it. I guessed either my son or my husband.

It was my husband.

"What's the big emergency?" I asked.

"There are no cookies in the house," he said.

I shrugged. "Sorry. I ran out of time to bake them this week. You'll have to eat fruit."

He shook his head. "We can't have this."  He grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

When he came back twenty minutes later, he had a bag full of - you guessed it - boxes of cookies. Three boxes to be exact.

"Seriously?" I asked. "Was that necessary?"


He took one whole box for himself and disappeared into his office. When he came out, half of the box was eaten.

I shook my head. There is no doubt in my mind that I live with the cookie monster!

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Thirsty Dog

As I was coming down the stairs yesterday evening, I heard a slurping sound. It was coming from the bathroom. I wondered what it could be.

Curious, I entered the said room to investigate. Who do you think I saw?

You guessed it. Our hundred pound German Shepherd. He was standing at the toilet, in the dark, slurping up water.

"Schultz!" I yelled. "What do you think you're doing?"

He stopped and looked at me. Toilet water dripped off his jowls.

"That's disgusting, Schultz!"  I didn't know who to be more upset with - my dog, or my son, who obviously left the toilet seat up. Again.  I looked in the toilet. He had drank almost all of it. I shook my head.  "Go drink your water from your bowl."

He walked past me and went to where his water bowl should have been. It wasn't there.

Then I remembered. The water bowl was in the dishwasher.

I guess a thirsty dog has to do what a thirsty dog has to do!

Tuesday, September 8, 2015


Before I begin my story, I want to tell you about a new book release from Murees Dupe.

Title: The Amaranthine (Thelum Series)
Author: Murees Dupé
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Release Date: 8 September 2015

Claire is sassy, human, and an outcast of society―who only wants to know where she belongs.

Alex is arrogant, selfish, and an immortal warrior―who thinks he’s prepared for everything.

Claire knows the world of immortals is where she belongs. As her guide and guardian, Alex finds it hard to resist Claire’s subtle charm. Can the two overcome their differences and embrace their passion for each other, or will the possibility of true love be lost to both forever?

Find your copy here:

E-bookKindle * Nook * Kobo * IBooks * Scribd * Inktera (Page Foundry) Oyster * Tolino
PaperbackAmazon * Goodreads
Good luck, Murees! Your book looks and sounds great!
Now for the story:
"Bubba," my husband said. "Please load and run the dishwasher."
In case you're new here, and you don't know Bubba, he's my eleven-year-old son. There's never a dull moment with him. This is another one of those not-so-dull moments.
The boy loaded the dish washer, poured liquid soap in the appropriate holder, and started it. Ten minutes later, my daughter happened to pass the machine. She noticed bubbles coming out through the cracks.  Figuring this was not good, she ran and got my husband.
He stopped the dishwasher and opened it. Now, I wasn't home to witness all of this, but he said there were so many bubbles in the dishwasher, you couldn't even see the dishes.   
"Bubba!" he called.
The boy came.
"What did you do?"
"I used that blue dishwashing soap," Bubba said, pointing to the Dawn liquid dish soap sitting on the counter.
Yeah. Wrong stuff. Needless to say, the boy spent a very long time scooping bubbles out of the dishwasher.  It took three additional runs to get them fully out.   Hopefully now he knows the difference between dish soap and dish washing detergent!

Friday, September 4, 2015

Dream Job

Today, I'm over at Tara Robinson's new blog, Really Real Housewives. (Yes, I'm really one of those!) I'm talking about how to survive your child's birthday party. Even if you don't have kids, you might find it an entertaining read. Please stop by!

Now, for something a little different. Michael G. D'Agostino has this thing he does called Question of the Month. I decided to participate. This month's question is, "What's the best job you've ever had?"

Well, that's easy. Being a music teacher. Music is my passion, and I love sharing my knowledge with others, watching them grow as musicians, develop self-confidence, and enjoy making music. I am so lucky that I get to do it just about every day of my life!

What's the best job you've ever had?

Thursday, September 3, 2015

King Henry Died Drinking Chocolate Milk

"Mom," my teenage daughter said. "King Henry died drinking chocolate milk."

I looked at the girl. "Are you sure about that? You need to double check your source."

She laughed. "That's what my teacher said."

"Why in the world would your teacher tell you that? It might be true that King Henry died of food poisoning, but it wasn't from drinking chocolate milk."

Then the truth came out. "It's a memory device for learning the metric system and doing conversions: Kilo, hecto, deca, deci, centi, and milli."

Oh. That made sense.

So, how did King Henry really die? Food poisoning - from eating an excessive amount of lampreys (small eels). His physician told him not to do it. But King Henry didn't listen. Too bad for him.

If you want to learn about this math conversion system, go here.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Big Dreamer

"Mama, they should let you sleep in school," my son said after coming home from a long day at the "office."

I raised my eyebrows. "Why? You're supposed to learn in school. You can't learn if you're sleeping."

"But our future depends on big dreams. They need to give us time to sleep so we can have big dreams."

"I thought that was what night was for," I said.

Bubba shook his head. "There's never enough time at night for all the big dreams I have!"