Mama Diaries

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Terrifying Bloodworms

"Mama, did you know that bloodworms are the scariest worms on the planet?" my son asked.

I popped out a frozen cube of them and watched it bob in our African clawed frog's aquarium. They were the frog's dinner. "What? These things?" The red blob hardly looked like a terrifying entity.

"Yeah. They're worse than leeches."

"No kidding?" I said. "How do you know?"

"I saw a video. They have sharp teeth and can suck the blood out of you. That's why they're called blood worms."

I had to see this. So I watched a video.

And another.


Are you totally grossed out yet?
Those little buggers are at the very least, quite disgusting! I'm so glad Croaky, our frog eats them. The world is a better place because of him!

Monday, April 25, 2016

Peculiar Paint Job

Before I share my story, I wanted to tell you about the sneak peak of the up-coming anthology, The Thing That Turned Me. Contributing author, Tara Tyler, has compiled a list of blurbs from all of the authors. If you like to check it out, go here.

Now for the story.

"Mom," my teenaged daughter said. "I have failed at life."

"What?" I asked. I hardly thought she failed at life.

"Look," she said pointing down at her bare leg.

I looked. She was wearing shorts, but under that, she had something else. "What the heck is that?"

"Body paint."

I squinted, trying to figure out what in the world she had painted on her leg. "Did you paint candy corn on your leg?"

She laughed. "No. I painted the universe. And those are stars."


"Yeah. See, I told you I failed at life."

I shook my head. "No. But you'd better figure out how to get that candy corn off your leg. And the black abyss they're revolving in."

She came up with a great way. A water balloon fight. She and her friend filled up about a hundred water balloons. By the end of the fight, there was nothing but black streaks running down her leg. So much for the candy corn universe. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Challenge Gone Wrong

My twelve-year-old son walked in the house yesterday, completely drenched.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"I did the water bottle challenge," he answered.

"The what?" I couldn't wait to hear what this was all about.

"My friend challenged me to put a water bottle on my head, with the cap loose. Then I had to ride my bike."

"You rode your bike with an open water bottle on your head?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. It stayed on for about two seconds, and then fell off, and the water spilled all over me."

I shook my head. "Dude. Did it ever occur to you, that it's pretty much impossible to ride a bike and keep anything but a helmet on your head? And why didn't you try this trick with the cap securely fastened?"

He looked at me funny. "Why would I do that? It wouldn't be much of a challenge if the cap was on. The fun is getting wet."

Oh. Right. Of course.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Big Dreams

"Mama," my twelve-year-old son said. "I'm going to buy a yacht."

I looked at the kid. "Really? You're going to need a lot of money to do that!"

"How much?" he asked.

"At least a million dollars," I said.

He didn't believe me, so he had to check it out for himself. He found a nice yacht. It looked like this:

Do you know how much it cost? $99, 950,000.00

"Dude. That's way out of your price range," I said.

"It sounds like a rip-off," he said. "But I still want a yacht."

He walked over to the phone and called one of his buddies. They had a conversation regarding the yacht. After he was done, he came up to me and said, "We've got it all figured out. We're going to split the cost. And if that doesn't work, we're going to buy a cruise ship. Those have to be less expensive than yachts!" 

Monday, April 11, 2016

Chef Bubba's Concoction

My son, Bubba, has been watching the Food Channel's series, Chopped. That's the one where a bunch of chefs compete against each other, and each week a chef is "chopped" out of the series, until only one is left standing. Apparently, this series has motivated the boy to do some creative cooking.

The other day he put down a fancy plate in front of me. Around the edges, was drizzled chocolate syrup. Strawberries and sliced radishes (which he thought were cucumbers) were arranged to look like flowers on the plate. In the middle, were two types of eggs - scrambled with onions, and a couple that were done over-easy.

It looked very nice. (I took a picture, but unfortunately, I have not been able to locate it in my files.)

"Here, Mama," he said. "This is for you."

"Thanks, Bubba," I said. I wasn't too sure about the chocolate - onion - egg - radish combination, but I figured if I didn't mix them, it would be okay.

I started on the scrambled eggs with onions. As I took the first bite, I noticed something wasn't quite right. "Dude, did you put sugar in these eggs?"

He nodded. "Sugar, salt, and pepper. And onions."

I made a face. "How much sugar?"

He shrugged. "About three tablespoons."


The boy passed on presentation, but we're going to have to work on taste, because my boy would have definitely been chopped! (His over-easy eggs were good, though, so there's hope!)

Monday, April 4, 2016

Question of the Month and Messy Room

It's time for Question of the Month hosted by Michael D'Agostino. Today's question is right in line with the A-Z challenge that's going on. (Sorry I'm not participating. There's just too much going on in my life and I don't have time to do it.) The question is, "What is your favorite thing that begins with the letter, C?"

Well, that's easy. Chocolate!

Now for the story:

My daughter is a typical teenager, and her room reflects this. I can't tell you how much stuff she has. That stuff usually ends up all over her floor. I finally decided I wasn't going to pick up after her any more. She's a big girl, so she can clean her own abode.

Two days ago, she came downstairs in the morning, looking like she had been through a war. "Mom, I'm sore," she announced.

I raised my eyebrows. "Rough night?"

"Yeah. I had to sleep on the floor. There was too much stuff on my bed."

I chuckled. "What are you going to do about it?"

She shrugged. "Clean my room?"

Good idea. So now, ladies and gentlemen, my daughter has a very clean room, and last night she was able to sleep in her bed. Let's see how long that lasts! 

Friday, April 1, 2016

My Life According To . . . Music Challenge

As I was perusing the blogosphere, I came across this cool challenge over at my dear friend, Shady's pad.   It apparently originated at Doglady's Den. The challenge is to answer a bunch of questions using song titles from an artist. (Has to be the same artist for all of them.) Shady did an awesome job with his. He inspired me to give it a try over here. So, let's see how I do. You guys can guess the artist as you read, and see if you're right. (For a lot of you, you'll probably get it on the first one.)

Are you male or female?

Uptown Girl

Describe yourself:

The Entertainer

How do you feel?

New York State of Mind

Describe where you currently live.

No Man's Land

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

The Great Wall of China

Your favorite form of transportation:

The Downeaster Alexa

Your best friend is:

Piano Man

Your favorite color is:

Scandinavian Skies

What's the weather like?

Summer, Highland Falls

Favorite time of day?

This Night

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?

Modern Woman

What is life to you?

All About Soul

Your relationships?

A Matter of Trust

Your fear?

I Go to Extremes

What is the best advice you have to give?


If you could change your name, you would change it to:


Thought for the day:

You're Only Human

How you would like to die:  

Keeping the Faith

Your motto:

Get it Right the First Time

  And that is my life according to . . .

Billy Joel! One of my favorite recording artists!

Here's one of my favorite songs from him:  River of Dreams.


If you'd like to do the challenge, feel free to do so. It's fun!