Yesterday, as I was doing the dishes, my son came up to me and started making funny sounds: "Vrooom, brrrrrm,brmmm, vroommmmmmm!"
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "Bubba, I can't understand a word you're saying."
"Brrmmmmmm, Barooooommmm, Vroooommmmm!"
I shook my head. "Dude, if you want to have a conversation with me, you need to speak a coherent language."
"But, Mama, I am speaking a language. It's motorcycle!"
Oh. Of course.
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Taking out the Trash
One of the chores my son has to do, is take out the garbage. Admittedly, it's not one of his favorites.
The other day, I asked the boy to do his job. "Okay, Mama," he said.
I went out and came back a little later. I didn't think about the garbage until I was preparing dinner. When I went to throw out some trash, I noticed something strange. The garbage can wasn't there.
"Bubba," I called. "Where's the garbage?"
"I threw it away," he answered. "Just like you asked."
"Okay. Great. You took out the trash. But where is the garbage can?"
"I threw that away, too. I got rid of all of it. Now we don't have to worry about taking out the garbage anymore."
(Needless to say, I sent him out to retrieve the can. He wasn't getting out of garbage duty that easily!)
The other day, I asked the boy to do his job. "Okay, Mama," he said.
I went out and came back a little later. I didn't think about the garbage until I was preparing dinner. When I went to throw out some trash, I noticed something strange. The garbage can wasn't there.
"Bubba," I called. "Where's the garbage?"
"I threw it away," he answered. "Just like you asked."
"Okay. Great. You took out the trash. But where is the garbage can?"
"I threw that away, too. I got rid of all of it. Now we don't have to worry about taking out the garbage anymore."
(Needless to say, I sent him out to retrieve the can. He wasn't getting out of garbage duty that easily!)
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Pizza Prints
The other day, my son was eating a piece of pizza.
Instead of simply eating it, he commenced a full examination. He examined every crack and crevice. "Mama," he said after he was finished. "Did you know that every slice of pizza is unique - like a fingerprint?"
"Well, Bubba," I said. "I hadn't really thought of it. But I suppose you're right."
"Yes, I am." He flipped the piece over. "Look at the oven burn here. It's unique. No other piece has marks like that." Then he grinned. "I know what they are."
"What are they, Bubba?"
"Pizza prints!"
Okay. So, ladies and gentlemen, next time you eat a piece of pizza, flip the thing over (careful not to lose the toppings) and check out the pizza prints!
Instead of simply eating it, he commenced a full examination. He examined every crack and crevice. "Mama," he said after he was finished. "Did you know that every slice of pizza is unique - like a fingerprint?"
"Well, Bubba," I said. "I hadn't really thought of it. But I suppose you're right."
"Yes, I am." He flipped the piece over. "Look at the oven burn here. It's unique. No other piece has marks like that." Then he grinned. "I know what they are."
"What are they, Bubba?"
"Pizza prints!"
Okay. So, ladies and gentlemen, next time you eat a piece of pizza, flip the thing over (careful not to lose the toppings) and check out the pizza prints!
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
The Thing That Turned Me and Author Interview with Tonja Drecker
Today, I'm happy to have as a guest, Tonja Drecker, who is a contributing author to an anthology which will be coming out later this year. It's called, The Thing That Turned Me. It's a collection of stories from various authors (including yours truly) about people, places, events, or ideas that have made a difference in a life.
Here's the trailer:
Now, please welcome Tonja!
Hi, Tonja! I'm really excited about this new anthology that will be coming out, and I'm so happy that you'll be one of the contributing authors. Please tell us a little about your contribution.
One Small Glowworm takes a historical plunge into the year 1949. This fictional short story is set in poverty ridden, post war Germany and glimpses at an eighteen-year-old young woman's battle to break free from the scars and chains of her past.
That sounds intriguing. What a great idea to use historical fiction! What was the inspiration for the story?
When I was first invited to join this anthology, I had a completely different story in mind, but no matter how much I worked on it, the words didn't want to come out right. While I was sulking over chocolate, the memory of something I had once heard while living in Germany popped into my head. . .a spark out of nowhere. And it seemed to fit the theme of the anthology well.
The story is centered around a fairly unknown historical event, but it was something that changed the lives drastically for over 230 German women ages seventeen to their later twenties. I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't say too much. But it was the courage of these women, which inspired me to write this.
I'd love to say more, but it's better if I don't. Knowing me, I'd reveal too much.
Chocolate always helps! This sounds like a great story, and I can't wait to read it!
Has there ever been a person or thing that has made a significant difference in your life?
Yes. Most definitely. There are several things/people which have put my life on its head more than once over the years. I can't image how awful it would have been not to have experienced these 'turning points'. No matter how drastic a change they caused (and I wasn't enthusiastic about all of them either), each of these moments ended up enriching my life more than I could have ever could imagined. I can only hope there are many more to come.
We often think of people or events that turn us as being positive influences. But you bring up a good point. Sometimes even the negative things in our lives make us better people.
Anything else you'd like to add?
Only that I'm very excited about this anthology. There are so many amazing writers involved, and they come from such a large range of genres and directions. It's going to be a real treat.
I agree. This is going to be a great collection of stories.
Where can readers connect with you?
Thank you so much for joining us, today! Best of luck with all of your writing projects!
After growing up in Denver, Tonja Drecker followed her heart to Germany. She enjoyed discovering the harsh secrets behind many fairy tales while exploring forgotten castles and mystical forests with her husband and four children. Now in the Ozarks, she's spending more time writing between pastures and cows. Her stories have appeared in children magazines as well as several anthologies, including Real Girls Don't Rust (Spencerhill) and SuperHero Tales (Melusine Muse Press).
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Spitting Llamas
Yesterday, I caught my son, Bubba, standing at the top of the stairs making strange noises.
"Dude," I said. "What are you doing?"
"Spitting like a llama."
I nearly went ballistic. "What? Spitting? In the house? No way. You are going to stop that right now!"
He grinned and did it, again.
That infuriated me. I don't normally get angry, but spitting in the house crosses the line!
Bubba knew I was mad. "Don't worry, Mama. I'm not actually spitting. I'm just making it sound like I am, because it's funny."
"How do you figure that's funny?" I asked.
He pulled out his handy dandy iPad and showed me some videos of spitting llamas.
"Tell me that's not funny," he said after we viewed them.
I cracked a little smile. "Okay, maybe they're just a little funny. But you'd better not actually spit like them!"
He agreed, and we have a truce.
Here's a video in case you want to get your giggle of the day:
"Dude," I said. "What are you doing?"
"Spitting like a llama."
I nearly went ballistic. "What? Spitting? In the house? No way. You are going to stop that right now!"
He grinned and did it, again.
That infuriated me. I don't normally get angry, but spitting in the house crosses the line!
Bubba knew I was mad. "Don't worry, Mama. I'm not actually spitting. I'm just making it sound like I am, because it's funny."
"How do you figure that's funny?" I asked.
He pulled out his handy dandy iPad and showed me some videos of spitting llamas.
"Tell me that's not funny," he said after we viewed them.
I cracked a little smile. "Okay, maybe they're just a little funny. But you'd better not actually spit like them!"
He agreed, and we have a truce.
Here's a video in case you want to get your giggle of the day:
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Rocks and Pebbles
The other day I was eating a bowl of cereal. It was one of those healthy kinds with chia seeds, buckwheat, and apple chunks. It looked kind of strange - not like the usual flake cereal.
My husband walked past me and did a double take. "What is that?" he asked, peering into the bowl.
"Bird seed," I said.
He gave me a funny look. "That's not bird seed. It's rocks and pebbles. You're eating a bowl of rocks and pebbles."
"No, it's not 'rocks and pebbles'," I said. I showed him the bag of cereal.
He took it from me, and got out a black marker. He crossed out the name of the cereal and wrote, Rocks and Pebbles, across the top.
So, now ladies and gentlemen, every morning, I eat a bowl of rocks and pebbles - the breakfast of champions!
My husband walked past me and did a double take. "What is that?" he asked, peering into the bowl.
"Bird seed," I said.
He gave me a funny look. "That's not bird seed. It's rocks and pebbles. You're eating a bowl of rocks and pebbles."
"No, it's not 'rocks and pebbles'," I said. I showed him the bag of cereal.
He took it from me, and got out a black marker. He crossed out the name of the cereal and wrote, Rocks and Pebbles, across the top.
So, now ladies and gentlemen, every morning, I eat a bowl of rocks and pebbles - the breakfast of champions!
Monday, January 11, 2016
The Cat Caper
Our cat, Bootsy, is a rather clever creature. Let me tell you about his latest escapade.
Yesterday, we made chicken soup from scratch. When we were done, we bagged the chicken carcass and tossed it in the garbage. We didn't think anything of it until we let our German Shepherd, Schultz, out to do his business. He usually does it then returns to the back door to be let in. Not this time.
When he didn't return, we went out to see what was going on. That's when we heard a strange noise coming from the garbage can. The lid was cracked open, and there was a scratching sound coming from inside. We walked around, and found Schultz lying on the ground next to the can with a chicken bone. Make that several chicken bones.
But that didn't explain the strange sound.
We walked over to the garbage can and lifted the lid. Who do you think we saw? Bootsy! He had cracked open the lid, opened the bag with the carcass, and was happily stuffing his face. Apparently he was in a magnanimous mood, because he had tossed a few bones out for Schultz to gnaw on.
The creatures were enjoying a tasty feast. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. We tossed the cat out of the can and took away the bones, thus ending the cat's big caper.
Yesterday, we made chicken soup from scratch. When we were done, we bagged the chicken carcass and tossed it in the garbage. We didn't think anything of it until we let our German Shepherd, Schultz, out to do his business. He usually does it then returns to the back door to be let in. Not this time.
When he didn't return, we went out to see what was going on. That's when we heard a strange noise coming from the garbage can. The lid was cracked open, and there was a scratching sound coming from inside. We walked around, and found Schultz lying on the ground next to the can with a chicken bone. Make that several chicken bones.
But that didn't explain the strange sound.
We walked over to the garbage can and lifted the lid. Who do you think we saw? Bootsy! He had cracked open the lid, opened the bag with the carcass, and was happily stuffing his face. Apparently he was in a magnanimous mood, because he had tossed a few bones out for Schultz to gnaw on.
The creatures were enjoying a tasty feast. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. We tossed the cat out of the can and took away the bones, thus ending the cat's big caper.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Call of the Wild
Our German Shepherd, Schultz, got in a little trouble. Let me tell you about it.
My husband was working on his car. He let the dog hang out in the front yard without a leash. Normally, this isn't a problem. Schultz lays on the grass and watches my husband, without moving an inch.
That isn't what happened this time. Keen-eared Schultz heard something that made him take off like a mad man. Through the woods he went, faster than a speeding bullet. (Okay, well maybe not that fast, but faster than we could run!)
My husband commanded him to come, but Schultz either didn't hear him, or chose to disobey.
The dog was out of there. My husband, fuming, went on a search to find the wayward canine. After forty-five minutes of searching on foot, and still not finding the dog, he came back, got his car, and went out again. A half hour later, he finally returned. This time he had the beast.
"Do you know where he was?" my husband growled.
I shook my head.
"Two neighborhoods away, playing with a female golden retriever. The owner was the same guy who brought Schultz back last time."
Then I understood. Schultz has a thing for golden retrievers. In Cincinnati, where I used to live, he had a crush on a female golden retriever. This dog must be his girlfriend, and he couldn't resist seeing her again!
My husband was working on his car. He let the dog hang out in the front yard without a leash. Normally, this isn't a problem. Schultz lays on the grass and watches my husband, without moving an inch.
That isn't what happened this time. Keen-eared Schultz heard something that made him take off like a mad man. Through the woods he went, faster than a speeding bullet. (Okay, well maybe not that fast, but faster than we could run!)
My husband commanded him to come, but Schultz either didn't hear him, or chose to disobey.
The dog was out of there. My husband, fuming, went on a search to find the wayward canine. After forty-five minutes of searching on foot, and still not finding the dog, he came back, got his car, and went out again. A half hour later, he finally returned. This time he had the beast.
"Do you know where he was?" my husband growled.
I shook my head.
"Two neighborhoods away, playing with a female golden retriever. The owner was the same guy who brought Schultz back last time."
Then I understood. Schultz has a thing for golden retrievers. In Cincinnati, where I used to live, he had a crush on a female golden retriever. This dog must be his girlfriend, and he couldn't resist seeing her again!
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Winner of the Giveaway and Tough Job for the Tooth Fairy
I'd like to thank everyone who stopped by for author, Dennis Higgins' interview. Heather Holden is the winner of his book, Pennies from Across the Veil. Congratulations, Heather!
Now for the story:
I'm almost finished with my job as the tooth fairy. I think my son has just one more tooth to lose. That's a good thing, because since he has discovered that I'm the tooth fairy, he has been determined to make my job as difficult as possible.
Last week, he lost two teeth, on two separate days. The first one, I found lying on the coffee table in the family room.
"Dude," I said. "That's disgusting! I don't want to find blood-crusted teeth in random places around the house. Go put it in the tooth fairy pocket where it belongs."
He made a face and took the tooth. Unfortunately, the tooth didn't end up in the tooth fairy pocket. It ended up with the Elf on the Shelf which was still out. I don't know exactly how I managed to find it, but I did, just by pure accident.
The next morning, I questioned the boy. "Exactly why was your tooth not in the tooth fairy pocket? What were you thinking?"
He grinned. "It's too easy for the tooth fairy to just go to the pocket and get the tooth. She needs to do a little work."
I narrowed my eyes at the kid. "You'd better not make it too hard, or you won't be getting any cash for your teeth!"
The next time, he left his tooth on the floor outside his bedroom door. I guess that's better than hiding it with the Elf on the Shelf. Who knew that being a tooth fairy could be so difficult?
Now for the story:
I'm almost finished with my job as the tooth fairy. I think my son has just one more tooth to lose. That's a good thing, because since he has discovered that I'm the tooth fairy, he has been determined to make my job as difficult as possible.
Last week, he lost two teeth, on two separate days. The first one, I found lying on the coffee table in the family room.
"Dude," I said. "That's disgusting! I don't want to find blood-crusted teeth in random places around the house. Go put it in the tooth fairy pocket where it belongs."
He made a face and took the tooth. Unfortunately, the tooth didn't end up in the tooth fairy pocket. It ended up with the Elf on the Shelf which was still out. I don't know exactly how I managed to find it, but I did, just by pure accident.
The next morning, I questioned the boy. "Exactly why was your tooth not in the tooth fairy pocket? What were you thinking?"
He grinned. "It's too easy for the tooth fairy to just go to the pocket and get the tooth. She needs to do a little work."
I narrowed my eyes at the kid. "You'd better not make it too hard, or you won't be getting any cash for your teeth!"
The next time, he left his tooth on the floor outside his bedroom door. I guess that's better than hiding it with the Elf on the Shelf. Who knew that being a tooth fairy could be so difficult?
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