The Problem with Pacifiers

When my kids were babies, they never liked pacifiers. This wasn't a huge problem, because I never had to deal with weaning them from the pacifier habit. I never understood, though, why they disliked them so much.

Fifteen years later, I have my answer.

My teenaged daughter is going out trick-or-treating as a baby. She has a flannel onesie and a pacifier that she will wear on a ribbon around her neck. The other day, while I was helping her with her homework, she put the pacifier in her mouth and quickly spit it out. Obviously, she still had a strong distaste for it.

"You don't like pacifiers?" I asked.

She shook her head and made a face. "They're disgusting. They're soft and rubbery, and they taste like chemicals."

Mystery solved. My big baby used her words to inform us that pacifiers have a terrible texture and taste bad. Makes me wonder why most babies like them so much.     

The Boo Crew

It's that time of year, again. Time to going booing. For those of you who don't know, it's a Halloween tradition. Basically,  you put together containers of treats and terrorize your neighbors. You go out after dark, ring  their doorbells, leave the treats, and run. The idea is not to get caught.

My kids and I have done this for about five years. Every year, it's a new adventure. Last year, we were lucky not to get picked up by the policeman who was patrolling the neighborhood. It was a close call!

This year's adventure involved the weather. It was raining.

"Bubba," I said. "Let's take the car. I don't feel like getting wet."

My son shook his head. "We can't take the car. They'll see us."

"But it's dark," I said. "They're not going to know who it is!"

He disagreed. "I'm sure they'll be able to track down the license plates."

Right.

After a long discussion, I finally agreed to go booing on foot. I, of course, had an umbrella, because I am such a wise Mama. The boy refused to take an umbrella, because umbrellas can be spotted easily.

We accomplished the mission, barely escaping detection by the residents of the first house we visited. When we returned to our home, I looked at my boy. He was drenched.

"Was it worth it?" I asked.

He gave me a big grin. "That was the best booing ever!" 

  

Phone Warmer

This morning, my teenaged daughter was frantically looking for her phone.

"Why don't you call it and see if you can locate it?" I suggested.

That's what she did.

Guess where it was?

Under our hundred pound German Shepherd's butt. He was sitting on it, and even when it rang, he didn't budge. I guess he wanted to keep it warm! 

Crazy Driver

My teenaged daughter will be learning how to drive soon. I'm not afraid of too many things, but this idea really scares me!

The other day she came up to me and said, "Mom, when I learn to drive, I'm going to use your car first. It's old, so it won't matter if I crash it."

I have her the evil eye. "You are not crashing my car. Period!"

She continued. "Then I'll use Dad's and crash his."

"You will do no such thing, because if you do, you'll be grounded for life and never drive again!"

(Which might actually keep her out of a lot of trouble!)

(If you're worried about my daughter, she's a very responsible young lady. I highly doubt she will ever crash our cars.)  

The Scariest House on the Street

A few weeks ago, my kids and their friends carved pumpkins. They placed their lovely creations on the steps leading up to my front door.

It didn't take long for the Georgia heat to rot those babies. After three weeks, they were infested with fruit flies, which swarmed around them. Their insides were black. I'd say they looked a lot like shrunken heads.

Did I do anything about them? No. I wasn't home much, and when I was, I was too busy doing other things.

Finally, my boy, Bubba, commented on them. "Mama. We have the scariest house on the block. Seven rotten pumpkins and a dead mum (which wasn't quite dead, just a little thirsty). Who's going to come trick-or-treating here?"

I gave him an evil laugh. "Nobody. This is the house of doom, and I'm the evil witch who will give them bags of carrots instead of candy!"

Hee, hee, hee!


  

  

Flying Money

I caught my eleven-year-old son folding dollar bills into paper airplanes.

"Dude," I said. "What are you doing?"

He grinned. "You know how you always say, 'money is flying out the door'?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm making it really fly out the door. Watch!"

He opened the front door and set a few of his planes into motion.

Yep. That was watching money fly out the door!


Now, for a little something extra:  I shared this video clip from my recital with my Facebook friends, but I thought there might be some of you who aren't on Facebook, who might like to see it. This is from the Schubert "Arpeggione" Sonata in A minor. Allen Baston is the pianist.

The Wish List

"Mama," my son, Bubba said. "If you found a bottle on the beach, and there was a genie inside who could grant you wishes, what would they be?"

I thought about that for a nanosecond. "Probably life-long good health and an endless supply of money."

He nodded. "Do you know what I would wish for?"

"What, Bubba?"

"I'd wish for no homework, an endless supply of money, and two more wishes."

Smart boy!

(What would you wish for?)