This evening, when I was watering my plants, a certain hairy beast came out to visit. I like to keep this particular creature contained in the house when I water because he usually wreaks havoc on my plants. Unfortunately, he escaped when my daughter opened the back door. Yes, this creature is none other than my obnoxious German Shepherd, Schultz.
That dog charged out the door with a furious vengeance.
"Schultz!" I yelled. "Watch it!"
He didn't watch it. He crashed into my hydrangeas, breaking yet more branches on the bushes and crushing the big snowball flowers.
"You know, Schultz," I said. "You are destroying everything I worked so hard to plant."
He didn't care. He just took off like a bullet and charged through more flowers.
I decided to take action against the beast. I sprayed that dog with the hose. "Take that, you troublemaking varmint!"
It didn't work quite the way I had planned. That stupid dog liked it. In fact, he opened his huge mouth to get a drink. By the time he was done, he was soaked. So was I. Do you know why? Because beasty boy decided to take a giant shake less than a foot away from me. He plastered me with water and wet hair.
Ugh! All I wanted to do was water my flowers, gosh darn it!