I had gotten my son a chemistry experiment kit for Christmas. Like the perfume kit I got my daughter, I thought this was a good idea at the time. It probably is a good idea, but not with the Mama in charge.
I pulled out the experiment kit and read the directions. It listed all of the hazards of the chemicals we'd be using.
"Mama," my son said. "Are you sure we should be doing this? Because this stuff is bad for the environment!"
"Sure, Bubba. It says here that the small quantities we'll use won't produce devastating affects on the environment. So we're good."
He looked at me funny. I could tell he wasn't so sure about that.
"Just put your goggles on and wear an old t-shirt so you don't ruin your clothes," I said.
We began our first experiment. "We need sodium carbonate. Open up the sample and put a large spoonful in the vial," I instructed.
He tried to pry the cap off, but couldn't. "Mama, can you help?"
I got the special opening tool and used a lot of strength to open it. A little too much. Because the white powder flew out onto my clothes.
My son's eyes got big. "Mama, are you going to die?"
"No, Bubba. Not today. A little sodium carbonate won't kill me. But it might kill my pants."
I brushed the stuff off and we continued the experiment. "Now we need some tartaric acid," I said.
Somehow we managed to get that in the vial without incident.
Then it was time for the water. My son added it to the vial, and immediately the chemicals foamed up. "Should I add more?" he asked.
"Sure," I said. "Why not?"
He did, and the potion spilled over the top of the vial.
"Oops," I said. "Okay, let's do the flame experiment."
"The what?" my son asked.
"We're supposed to stick a lighted match in there and see what happens."
That was it. My son couldn't handle any more. He went upstairs. Two seconds later, he came back down with the fire extinguisher. "Mama, you're definitely going to need this!"