Zombie Repellant

We've arrived at letter "Z" for the A-Z challenge!  Congratulations to everyone who made it!

Before I begin my story, I want to once again invite you to check out my article on why children's books are important.  You can find it here.  If you like it, please share with your social networks.  I'm trying to win a contest to get a free animated version of my book, That Mama is a Grouch.  EPublishing Experts will do this for the author with the most shares.  This is the last day.  Thanks to all who have already visited, shared, and commented.  I really appreciate it!

Now for the story.

I live in zombie country.  I do.  Really.  I live in Georgia, where the television series, Walking Dead is filmed.  (In fact, my daughter was thinking about auditioning as an extra for the production.)  Because we live in zombie land, we have to be ever-vigilant about these creatures.

Last weekend, my family and I drove out to Vidalia, Georgia, for the onion festival (that's a story unto itself).  The land looked exactly like the terrain in Walking Dead.  And we saw a few suspects who looked an awful lot like zombies.

"Mama," my son said.  "I know what to do if we see a zombie."

I turned around and looked at the kid.  "Really, Bubba?  What do we do?  Throw onions at them?"

"No, Mama.  We eat pie!"

I raised my eyebrows.  "Eat pie?"

He nodded, then he started singing his pie song that he had composed a couple of years ago:

Eat pie, eat pie.
Everybody eat pie.
You will die,
unless you eat pie.

Eat pie when you're sitting on the bucket.
Or zombies will invade you!

Eat pie, eat pie.
Everybody eat pie.
You will die,
unless you eat pie.

All right then.  So we got ourselves a fine Georgia peach pie and kept it with us at all times.  I suggest you do the same!


  

You Tube Stupidity

My kids find all kinds of strange and bizarre things on YouTube. Here are some of the highlights I've seen over the past few years:

The Cinnamon Challenge:

  Brought to you by none other than GloZell, the cinnamon challenge prompted my kids to attempt it themselves.  I quickly put a stop to it, before someone ended up vomiting all over my nice kitchen floor!

The Chubby Bunny Challenge:

Yep.  Brought to you once again, by GloZell.  (What's up with this woman?) My kids didn't even get started on this one.  Those chubby bunnies looked dangerous!  Which brings me to my next video:

Dumb Ways to Die:

I think they missed one on this.  They need to add, "doing the chubby bunny challenge," because shoving too many chubby bunnies in your mouth is definitely a dumb way to die!

X-ray Vision

"Mama," my nine-year-old son said.  "What do I have behind my back?"

I scoured the table, trying to figure out what was on it that was no longer there.  "A quarter," I said.

He looked surprised.  "Yes.  Now guess which hand it's in."

"Right."

He wrinkled his eyebrows, looking very puzzled.  "That's pretty good, Mama!"  Then he did a little shuffle.  "Now guess which hand it's in."

"Right," I guessed.

"Yep!"  He did it again.  "Which one, now?"

"Left."

"Mama, you're good at this."  He shuffled things around one more time and put his hands behind his back. "Guess again.  You'll never get it!"

I looked at that kid and smiled.  "Neither."

Of course I was right.  I figured he had put it in his back pocket.

He stared at me with his mouth open.  "How did you know?"

"Bubba, Mamas have x-ray vision.  You can't hide anything from the Mama!"

 

Wet Kids

Last night, after I had finished teaching violin lessons, I heard a lot of screaming.  It was coming from my backyard.  Curious, I went to investigate.  All the sprinklers were turned on in the backyard, and eight kids were standing in the middle of them, getting soaking wet.

I didn't even recognized half of those kids.  What the heck is going on here? I thought.  I walked out to see.

My husband was standing at the edge of the yard next to be big hole.  He had a shovel in his hands.  "I fixed the sprinklers!" he said, all proud of himself.

"I see that," I said.  "What's with the kids?" I said.  "I don't think their parents will be too thrilled when they come home soaking wet!"

"They just showed up," he said.

I looked at all of them having a good time.

Then our hundred pound German Shepherd barked from inside the house.  What did my husband do?  He let him out.  So then there were eight wet kids and one wet German Shepherd all barking, screaming, and running around my backyard.

Oy!

   

Violin Thief

Before I begin my story, I want to let you know about the release of a new book by a very talented writer and blog friend, Medeia Sharif.  You can find it here on Amazon. 




SNIP, SNIP REVENGE by Medeia Sharif

YA Contemporary, Evernight Teen

Release Date April 25, 2014

Beautiful, confident Tabby Karim has plans for the winter: nab a role in her school’s dramatic production, make the new boy Michael hers, and keep bigoted Heather—with her relentless Ay-rab comments—at bay. When a teacher’s lie and her father’s hastiness rob her of her beautiful hair, her dreams are dashed. The fastest barber in Miami Beach has made her look practically bald.

With all her pretty hair gone, Tabby doesn’t believe she fits the feminine role she’s auditioning for. Michael is still interested in her, but he’s playing it cool. Heather has taken to bullying her online, which is easier to do with Tabby’s ugly haircut. Tabby spearheads Operation Revenge, which proves satisfying until all of her problems deepen. 
After messing up, she sets to make things right.

Author Bio

I’m a Kurdish-American author who was born in New York City, and I presently call Miami my home. I received my master’s degree in psychology from Florida Atlantic University. After becoming a voracious reader in high school and a relentless writer dabbling in many genres in college, I found my niche writing for young people. Today I'm a MG and YA writer published through various presses. In addition to being a writer, I'm a middle school English teacher. My memberships include Mensa, ALAN, and SCBWI.

Find Medeia

Blog   |   Twitter   |   Goodreads   |   Instagram   |   Amazon


Now for the story:

When our German Shepherd, Schultz, was a puppy, he got into a lot of trouble!  He destroyed the ignition switch on our grill, not once, not twice, but three times!  (Don't ask me how.)  He chewed through the screen on our back sliding door twice.  He destroyed two garden hoses, chewed up the legs of four kitchen chairs, and decimated my rose garden. He was a naughty puppy!

One day, about three years ago, I was in the kitchen, when I heard a strange sound.  It was coming from the living room.  I went to investigate.  I couldn't believe what I saw!  That gosh-darn German Shepherd had the shoulder strap of my violin case in his mouth, and was dragging the case across the floor.  My violin, of course, was inside!

"Schultz!" I bellowed.  "Drop it!"

He didn't want to drop it.

I growled at him.  "Drop it!!!!!"

He knew the Mama was mad!  He dropped it, stuck his tail between his legs, and got out of there.

"Crate!" I ordered.

I locked him in there, where he stayed for several hours.  That was the last time he ever messed with any of my instruments, because he knows that if he even so much thinks about eating my violin for lunch, this Mama will turn into an angry lion!

Underwear Overhead

When my daughter (who is now a teenager) was about four years old, she liked helping me with the laundry. I'd bring up a basket of clean clothes, and she'd sit next to me while I folded. She'd watch intently and then grab some clothes in an attempt to imitate what I was doing.  More often than not, she'd grab clothes that were already folded, and refold them her own way.

On one such day, she found a pair of her daddy's underwear.  Folding underwear can be tricky - especially for a four-year-old.  After several attempts, she gave up. But did she put down the pair of underwear?  No.  She put it on her head and wore it like a hat!  I looked at her and laughed. So she grabbed another pair of daddy's underwear and put that on her head.

I thought that was a fabulous fashion statement, so I grabbed a pair of daddy's underwear and put it on my head.  My daughter giggled and thought it was the best thing ever. From that day on, for the next year or so, every time we'd do laundry, we'd wear underwear hats.  It was completely silly, but it certainly made doing the laundry a lot more fun!  

Thinking Cap

A couple of weeks ago, my son was sitting in his room, at his desk, with a box over his head.  It appeared he was trying to do his homework, but with the box on his head, I couldn't quite be sure.

"Bubba, what are you doing, and why is there a box on your head?" I asked.

"I'm doing my homework, Mama," he answered.  "Hold on while I figure out the answer."

I looked over his shoulder and saw that he was doing some math problems. I also saw that the box was cut out in such a way that there was an opening for his face, and spaces cut out so it could sit comfortably on his shoulders.   It was an elaborate concoction.

After a few seconds of staring at the math problem, Bubba took a pencil and started scribbling on the inside of his box.  I watched quietly, trying to figure out what the kid was doing.  When he was done, he wrote the answer to the problem on his paper.

"Okay, Bubba.  What was that all about?"

He grinned.  "This is my thinking cap.  It's helping me do my homework!"