Mama Diaries

Friday, September 19, 2014

Finger Turniquette


Yesterday, I saved a finger.  My son's finger.  Let me tell you about it.

When the boy stepped off the school bus, the first thing I noticed was that his pinky finger was an odd shade of purple. (Yes, I notice little things like pinky fingers.)  "Dude," I said.  "What's up with your finger?"

He glanced down at it.  "My friend hurt my finger and I had to put a Band aid on it."

"Let me look at that," I said.  I stooped down and inspected the finger.  That Band aid was on there so tight, it was cutting off his circulation. "Your finger is purple.  We need to get this thing off right away!"

He tried to get it off, but couldn't.  So I did.  Let me just say, it was quite an effort!  After it was removed, the blood rushed into the area, turning his finger bright red.

"It burns!" he said.

"Just for a minute, until everything equalizes."

A few seconds later, everything was back to normal.  "Oh," he said.  "That's better.  I was wondering why my finger was so cold!"

Oy!


Before I go, I'd like to let you know that as a follow-up to my radio interview on Solving the Hunger Problem, I created a Facebook group page, called Solving the Hunger Problem.  It's dedicated to sharing information, solutions and ideas that may help alleviate hunger. If you are on Facebook, I invite you (and your friends) to join and share ideas you may have.  You can find it here.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

A Terrifying Thing

Last night, my daughter was sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework.  She happened to glance outside, and noticed our cat was doing something strange on the back deck.  "What's he doing?" she asked.

She got up and went out to investigate.

Three seconds later, she came back inside, not really sure what the cat had been doing.  As she stepped over the threshold, into the house, she happened to look down.  Something caught her attention.  She stooped down to pick it up, and then screamed.

Her eyes looked like saucers.  "Oh my God....Oh my God....Oh my God!!!!" she shrieked, as she stood there shaking.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

She pointed under one of our chairs by the center island in our kitchen.  "It's over there!"

"What is?" I asked as I went over to see what the heck had scared her so much.

I stooped down and noticed something green crawling up the island.  It was an insect.  A leaf bug.  And it was very big.

"That's what scared you?" I asked.  "A leaf bug?"

"I didn't know it was a bug.  I thought it was a leaf when I picked it up!"

"'Well, come here and look at it. It's just a bug."

She came over slowly, looked at it, and ran off to the other room.  "It's creepy!" she said.

I shrugged, got a glass, knocked it into the glass, and transported it back outside, where the cat could finish playing with it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen was the excitement at my house last night.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Duck Milk

You would not believe some of the conversations I've had with my kids.  Last night, I had a rather interesting one with my teenage daughter.  I was helping her study for a science test which involved discussing the topic of reproduction.

"Did you know that men can produce milk?" she asked.

"No they can't!" I said.

"Yes, they can.  Look."  She pointed an article she found on the internet. "They have the hormones to do it.  I bet if a baby sucked hard enough, some milk would come out."

I tried very hard not to laugh.  "I bet in the whole history of the world, there has not been a single man who has produced one drop of milk for a baby!"

She was very insistent.  "But they have the ducks to do it!"

The ducks?

(She quickly caught her mistake, and we both started laughing.  So much for that study session!)

Monday, September 15, 2014

Mister Fix-it

Yesterday afternoon, I was attempting to get the weeds out of our front flower beds.  My husband saw me stooped down and came over to investigate.  "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Weeding," I replied.  "Except the ground is really hard, and I can't seem to get all of the roots."

"Oh," he said, and walked away, into the garage.

Two seconds later, a sprinkler head popped out of the ground.  It was right where I was working.  I bet you can guess what happened.  Yes.  The darn thing sprayed my face!

"Hey!" I shouted, dripping wet. "Why did you do that?"

He laughed.  "I'm fixing it.  The ground should be nice and soft now, so you can weed better!"  

(Right.  Thanks.)

Friday, September 12, 2014

Making a Minecraft Server

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "Can you make a Minecraft server for me?"

I looked at that kid funny.  "Dude, I can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I think a Minecraft server is a little out of my league."

"But it's easy.  I know you can do it!" He dragged me over to the computer and pulled up a site on how to make a server.  "Read this!"

I did.  And it looked like Greek to me.  There was no way I was going to be able to create a server to hold an entire Minecraft world.  I wrote down the instructions and proceeded to fumble my way through it.  I did okay.  But then I got to the fine print.  The part where they wanted money.  "Bubba," I said.  "This is going to cost a lot of money each month!"

"But I think there's a free one," he said.

I looked at the terms for that one.  "Yeah.  It's free, but as soon as you shut off your computer, the server is going to disappear.  What good is that?  There's no way I'm doing all this work to have it disappear!"

"Please?"

"No!"

End of story!




Now for a little something else:  I did a radio interview (a very short one) about Solving the Hunger Problem.  If you'd like to listen, you can find it here.  It's episode 20.  (I have not been able to listen to it, and have been told the problem is with my computer.  If anyone else has problems listening, please let me know!  Hopefully it turned out okay!)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

World's Worst Tooth Fairy

My husband is not the tooth fairy.  I know this for a fact.  A couple of nights ago, some time after 11:00 PM, my son lost his tooth.  Or I should say, yanked it out.  He proudly marched downstairs and presented the bloody thing to my husband, who was still watching TV.

"Make sure the tooth fairy comes, Dad!" Bubba said.

Well, the tooth fairy didn't come, because the tooth fairy was already in bed, and had no idea that she was needed on the job.

The next morning, when I was making breakfast, my daughter came downstairs.  "Mom," she said.  "Dad forgot to be the tooth fairy.  You need to get up there and do it!"

"Bubba lost a tooth?" I asked.

"Yeah.  He woke me up, so I heard all about it," she said.

I quickly found some cash in my purse and rushed upstairs to take the tooth.  Fortunately, the boy was still sleeping.

Ten minutes later, I officially woke him up.  Of course, he had to check to see if the tooth fairy came.  He was quite pleased when he saw the cash.  "I guess Dad's not the world's worst tooth fairy," he said.

Right!
      

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Remembering Tina Downey


On August 23, 2014, the blogging community lost a very special lady.  Tina Downey struggled with pulmonary hypertension, hypoglycemia, and sever asthma.  But did she let that get in the way of being cheery and supportive?  No way!  Tina was one of the most supportive, funny people in the blogosphere, and she always had great things to say in her comments.

So we in the blogging community are remembering this awesome person and celebrating the life we were so privileged to share.

I planted these sunflowers for you, Tina!  Thanks for brightening our days!