Mama Diaries

Friday, October 24, 2014

Bigger than Mama

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "I'm bigger than you!"

I looked down at the kid, who at 4 feet 6 inches tall, was clearly  not bigger than me.  "I don't think so, Bubba.  You have a way to go before you catch up with me."

"But I am bigger," he insisted.  "Look!"  He pointed on the ground at our shadows.  Since he was slightly in front of me, his shadow appeared taller than mine.

I moved up so I was even with him.  My shadow was obviously bigger than his when I did that.

"Wow," he said.  "I didn't know you could grow so fast!"

I nodded.  "Yep.  Mamas are pretty amazing!"  

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Schultz's Big Find

It's been a while since we've had a Schultz story.  For those who don't know Schultz, he is our hundred pound German Shepherd.  He's been pretty tame, lately.  But today, he decided to cause a little mischief.

I was outside, paying attention to the cat (yes, the killer one who dissects frogs and other small creatures).  I figured that maybe he needed some love, because the killing was getting a little out of control.  So I sat on the deck with the cat in my lap, petting the furry thing, and scratching under his chin, which he really likes.

Schultz stood inside, watching me do this, clearly not pleased that I was giving the cat more attention than him.  After a while, he walked away from the window.  I figured he'd probably go find a spot to lay down and take a nap. But no.

About fifteen minutes later, I heard a clunk in the kitchen.  Since there was nobody else home, I figured it had something to do with the dog.  I put the cat down and went inside to investigate.  At first I didn't notice anything.  Then I saw that a cupboard was open.  The one that contained Schultz's dog food and treats.  I didn't see anything on the floor, so I closed the cupboard. Then I turned around.  That's when I saw it.

Schultz was lying on the ground in the family room with something between his paws.  I walked over to investigate.  Do you know what he had?  A knuckle bone, still partially wrapped in plastic! He had opened  the cupboard, rummaged through a small Rubbermaid container, found the bone, taken it out, and removed some of the plastic.  There he was, happily gnawing away.

"Schultz!" I said.  "I didn't give you permission to get that bone!"

He cocked his head and looked at me.

I took the bone from him and removed the rest of the plastic.  "Now listen, dog.  You can't just have things for free.  You have to work for them."  I gave him some commands.

"Stand up."

He stood.


He sat.


He shook my hand.

I gave him his bone back.  He took that thing in his giant mouth and retreated to the basement where he could gnaw in peace.  What a creature!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Raining Tacos

"Mama," my ten-year-old son said.  "I'm going outside to get dinner."

I looked at that kid.  "What do you mean, 'you're going outside to get dinner'?  I'm making dinner right now.  Inside."

He shook his head.  "Nope.  I'm getting my dinner outside.  It's going to be raining tacos."

I looked outside, up into the clear blue sky.  "Dude.  I'm afraid you're mistaken.  I don't see any taco clouds up there."

"Don't worry.  I know they're up there."  The kid looked really confident about this.

"Okay.  How do you know?" I asked.

"Because it said so on YouTube."  He shoved his iPod in my face and made me watch a video.

Here it is for your viewing enjoyment:

"I see," I said, after viewing the thing.  "If you need any tomatoes on it, let me know.  Because I didn't see anything about it raining tomatoes for the tacos.  And you need your veggies!"


Monday, October 20, 2014

Bucket List Blog Hop

It's time for the Bucket List Blog Hop.  Susanne Drazic and I are co-hosting it.  To participate, you just have to come up with a list of things you want to do before you "kick the bucket."

Without further ado, I will present my list:

1. Sky dive
2. Zip-line (preferably through a Costa Rican rain forest)
3. Go white water rafting (I think the Grand Canyon would be a cool place to do this.)
4. Dive the Great Barrier Reef.  (I've done my fair share of SCUBA diving around the world, but I have yet to dive the Great Barrier Reef.)
5. Set foot on all the continents
6. Visit all fifty states
7. Learn to speak French fluently
8. Watch a shuttle launch (I may be a little late for this one, so I might have to switch this to riding on Virgin Galactic's SpaceShip Two into outer space.)
9. Learn to tango
10.  Ride an elephant (I've ridden a camel, but never an elephant.)
11. Ride a gondola in Venice, Italy
12. Go on an African safari
13. Visit Machu Picchu
14. Tour the White House
15. Take a helicopter ride over Kauai
16. See a performance at the Sydney Opera House
17. Hold a koala bear
18. Visit Area 51 and see if there are really aliens there
19. Visit Mount Rushmore
20. Tour the Neuschwanstein Castle

I think, after looking at my list, that I will have to seriously write a best-seller or do something pretty amazing to earn a lot of money!  I have big dreams!

What do you want to do before you die?  If you'd like to share them as part of the Bucket List Blog Hop, you can sign up  here.

Friday, October 17, 2014

The Cat's Big Science Project

Bootsy, our cat, conducted a science project on our deck yesterday.  It was quite elaborate.  He had caught a frog and dissected it.  I saw the frog's intestines on one deck plank, its spleen on another, and something that resembled a heart about two feet away.

"Bootsy, what did you do?" I asked.

The cat just looked at me and licked his paws.

Two seconds later, my son came outside.  He spotted the entrails went into vomit mode.

"Dude," I said.  "You have to toughen up.  You're going to be dissecting a frog  just like this in school, soon!"

He looked at me with a face that matched the color of the dead frog.  "No way.  I'm sending the cat into school and he can do it!"

Thursday, October 16, 2014

How to Fix a Vacuum Cleaner

Before I start my story, I just want to say I'm sorry that I haven't been here regularly.  I've been so busy with music - performances, rehearsals, practicing, teaching etc.  It's not a bad problem to have, but it's just been really tough for me to be online.  If anyone lives in the Atlanta, Georgia area (I know there are a few of you), and you want to meet me or hear me play (or both), I invite you to come this Sunday, October 19th at 4:00 PM to Musik21:  10700 State Bridge Road., Suite 12, Johns Creek, GA  30022 for a chamber music recital (string quintet).  It's free.  And there will be food (which means I'd better get baking!)

Now for the story:

Our vacuum cleaner hasn't been working so well.  Probably because of all the dog hair it's had to pick up through the years.  The on button stays permanently on, so in order to get the thing to shut off, I have to unplug it.

I've told my husband about it numerous times.  But nothing seemed to get done.  Until he had to vacuum.  Then he realized how annoying it was.

He went into the garage and rummaged through his tool box.  When he returned, there was a hammer in his hand.

"What are you going to do with that?" I asked.

"Watch and learn," he said.

He took that thing and whacked the side of the vacuum cleaner, near the button.

I raised my eyebrows.  "You think that's going to work?"

He looked at me and grinned.  Then he plugged the vacuum cleaner in.  It didn't turn on.  I figured it was busted completely.

Then he pressed the on button.  Guess what happened?  It turned on!  He pressed it again.  Yes.  You guessed it.  It turned off.

The genius fixed it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, next time your vacuum cleaner acts a little funky, just get a hammer and whack it.

A reminder:  If you want to sign up for the Bucket List blog hop which will be October 20th, sign up here.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Cover Reveal for Vitamins and Death

My blog friend, Medeia Sharif, has a new book coming out in December.  This one looks so cool.  I've read two of her previous books, and they were really good, so I'm sure this one will be awesome, too!  

YA Contemporary, Prizm Books
Release Date December 10, 2014

Deidra Battle wants nothing more than to be invisible. After her mother, a public school teacher, engages in an embarrassing teacher-student affair at Lincoln High, they relocate to a different neighborhood and school. Being her mother’s briefcase, Deidra joins her mother at her new workplace, Hodge High.

Since her mother has reverted to her maiden name and changed her appearance, Deidra thinks no one will figure out they’re the Battles from recent news and that they’re safe. Neither of them is. Hodge brings a fresh set of bullies who discover details about the scandal that changed her life.

Feeling trapped at home with an emotionally abusive, pill-addicted mother and at school with hostile classmates who attempt to assault and blackmail her, Deidra yearns for freedom, even if she has to act out of character and hurt others in the process. Freedom comes at a price.

Find Medeia