Mama Diaries

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Last Water Balloon

My kids and their friends decided to have a water balloon fight with all of the unused balloons that had been lying around my house from all of the birthday parties.  They filled up about thirty of them and hauled them outside.  They had a great time whipping them at each other, getting wet.  Even our German Shepherd, Schultz, got in on the action.

After about twenty minutes of playing, there was only one balloon left.  And my son, Bubba, had it.  "I know who this is for," he announced.  He eyeballed his sister.

He took it in both hands and was about to launch it in her direction, when it suddenly splattered all over him.  He was soaked, because of course, it was the biggest balloon.

Everyone laughed.

"Yeah, Bubba," I said.  "We all knew who that was for.  You!"

Monday, July 28, 2014

The Tooth Fairy Returns

You may remember a couple of months ago, that my son was going to conduct an experiment regarding the tooth fairy.  He wasn't going to tell me when he lost his loose tooth.  He was just going to stick it under his pillow and see if the fairy showed up.  His theory was that I was not the tooth fairy.  Because the tooth fairy was real.

I was very concerned that I would miss this big event.  Well, I didn't have to worry.  Two nights ago, after I tucked him into bed, he came running out of his room.  "Mama, my tooth fell out!"

Good, I thought.  This is going to be easy.

We found the tooth fairy pillow, which had been tucked away for several years, and placed the tooth inside the pocket.

That night, the tooth fairy paid a visit.

The next morning, when I was making breakfast, Bubba came downstairs.  He was holding some cash in his hand.  He looked at me and grinned.  "Thanks for the money, Mama!"

So much for the tooth fairy!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

World's Ugliest Birthday Cake

Yesterday was Bubba's tenth birthday.  To celebrate the occasion, I baked him a cake.  A Minecraft cake, since the boy is totally obsessed with the game.

I wasn't quite sure how to do it, but I figured it would have to have to be squarish in shape, have square pixels thingies, and have many layers that look like they had been crafted. I put on my thinking cap and baked a couple of cakes.  I cut  them up into smaller squares and made some layers.  Then I cut up chocolate candy pieces, fashioning them into square pixel looking thingies.  When I was finished, I showed my masterpiece to my son.  "What do you think?"

He looked at it and scratched his head.  "What is it?"

"Isn't it obvious?"  I asked.  "It's a mountain biome from Minecraft."  

He nodded slowly.  "Yeah. It kind of looks like that.  But I think it looks more like a mushroom biome.  You need to add some grass."

I took the kid's advice and made some green grass with the frosting.  I slopped it on at the base of the mountain.

"There.  Is that better?"  I asked.

"Yeah.  But it still looks like an epic disaster.  Here.  Let me fix it."  The kid grabbed some sugar numbers and applied them to the cake:  9 1 1.  "It's an emergency situation.  It's calling for help."

I scowled at the kid.  "Fine.  I'll go get help." I went down into the basement and found a Lego Princess Leah.  I brought her upstairs and placed her on the cake. "There.  Now it's fixed!"

(Unfortunately, Bubba did not agree.  He named my creation, "The Ugliest Cake in the World."  But it sure was good!)

Here it is:

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Laundered Money

I never check the pockets of my family's pants before I throw them into the wash.  I expect them to do that.  Maybe that's expecting too much.  Yesterday, I found all of the contents of my husband's wallet strewn across the kitchen table.  And of course, everything was wet.

My husband walked into the room.  "Woman, when are you going to stop laundering money?"

I shrugged.  "Either when you start emptying your pockets, or when the police come and take me away.  Whichever comes first!"

So, ladies and gentlemen. If I suddenly disappear from the blogosphere, you know that I have been caught and thrown in the brig for all of my shenanigans!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Be cool. Stay in school.

I'll share one more story from the recent road trip Bubba and I took.  This one involves a little incident at a Subway restaurant (different from the one in front of the Georgia Winery).

Once again, I was overtired.  I had been driving from Atlanta to Cincinnati for over twelve hours, in the rain. (Which I can't say was a lot of fun.)  And you know, when I'm overtired, I do crazy things (see last post).

When I saw the Subway sign, I knew it was time to stop.  We ordered our meals, sat down and began to eat.  The radio was playing.  Soon I was bobbing my head to the beat.  Next song was one from the movie, Pitch Perfect.  Needless to say, I couldn't keep still.  After being cooped up in a car for twelve hours, I had to move.  Dancing was the thing to do.  I busted a move.  Pretty soon Bubba got in the groove.  We looked like a couple of lunatics dancing at our table.  I'm sure the worker behind the counter was most amused.

A couple of old ladies happened to be at the counter, ordering their meals.  They saw Bubba and me.  (They pretended not to be amused, but I could tell they were loving it.)  On their way out, one of the ladies said, "Hey kiddos, stay in school!"

I looked at Bubba.  He looked at me.

"Kiddos?"  I said.  "Did she just call me a kiddo?"

"Yeah, Mama.  You're a kiddo.  Even though you're old, you act like a kiddo.  So you should act your age, or stay in school!"

Yes, sir!

Monday, July 21, 2014

Crazy Mama

This past weekend, my son and I went up to Ohio for my dad's birthday, and for my high school 25 year class reunion.  We didn't fly.  We drove.  Which was completely nuts!  It took fourteen hours to get there, and a little over twelve to come back.

Near the end of our trip, we made a stop for dinner - at Subway.  Behind the Subway shop, was the Georgia Winery.  I knew I had to go there!

"Bubba," I said.  "We're going to make a little stop at the winery before we leave."

He looked at me funny.  "Okay, Mama.  Whatever."

Then I got a funny look in my eye.  "And do you know what else?"

"What else, Mama?"

"I'm going to play my violin over there."

He nearly choked on his sandwich.  "You are not!"

"Yep, I am."

He grinned.  "That's insane!  Mama, you're just overtired and acting immature!"

I giggled.

He giggled.

Pretty soon we were both laughing really hard.

"Okay, come on.  I'm going to play!"  I got up, went back to the car, and grabbed my violin.  I walked over to the winery, where a bunch of people were standing around in the parking lot.  And I started playing.

My son shook his head.  "Mama, if the police come and arrest you, I'm going to tell them I had nothing to do with it!"

And guess what?  I have pictures to prove it.  So you who like pictures - don't fall off your chair for this!

                            Here's the sign above the entrance of the Georgia Winery.

                              Here's me playing some lovely Bach music outside the winery.

      And as an added bonus, here's me at my reunion Mass with a few of my former classmates.  (I played for it, which is why I had the violin in the first place!)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Schultz and the Sprinklers

Schultz thinks sprinklers are evil. (For those of you who don't know, Schultz is our devious hundred pound German Shepherd.)  Every time the sprinkler system goes on, he has to launch an attack.

Yesterday was the biggest battle of all.  About seven sprinkler heads popped out of the ground and began shooting jets of water all over the grass and gardens.  Schultz didn't like that one bit.  He charged on those sprinklers and tried to bite the water that was coming out.  Of course he ended up with a wet face.  Apparently, he didn't like having a wet face, because he rolled on the ground, trying to get the water off.

The sprinklers wouldn't let up.  While he was rolling, they doused him with more water.  Which made him even madder.  He got up, ran as fast as he could to the nearest sprinkler head, and ripped it out of the ground.  Then he chomped on it.  Until it was dead.

I won't tell you what my husband said about the whole thing.  But I will say that Schultz will not be allowed anywhere near sprinklers from now on!