Mama Diaries

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Mama Fails Hair 101

Most of you know that I'm a dance mom.  My daughter is on competition dance teams.  As part of the dance mom job, I have to know how to apply my daughter's stage makeup, and fix her hair into a multitude of hairstyles.  Today was practice day.  I took my $100 worth of makeup supplies and hair stuff to the dance studio to show the owner of the store that I could actually do this.

Ha.

We started with the makeup.  Do you know how hard it is to apply liquid eyeliner to somebody else's twitching eye?

"You have to stay still, or I'm going to end up lining your ears!" I told my daughter.

She made a face, which of course didn't help matters.

Then I tried to curl her eyelashes.  "Mom!" she said.  "You're going to poke my eye out!"

"Sorry about that.  Here.  You do it yourself."

"What do I do?"

"Put your eyelashes in the thing and squeeze."

Yeah.

Next was the mineral powder.  I put some on a brush and knocked off the access.  Of course my daughter started gagging.  "Mom, what are you doing?  This is like Mount Saint Helen erupting!"

"Deal with it," I said.

Somehow I managed to paint her face in such a way that was acceptable to the dance store owner.  "Pass," the lady said, and signed off on our chart that it was good.   

I breathed  a sigh of relief.

On to the hair.  The style was a very special twist with a side bun:  the signature dance studio hair do.  It is very important that I learn to master this.  Being the genius I am, I forgot the gel and hair net. 

"Mom!" my daughter complained.  "How could you forget those?"

I shrugged.  "We'll borrow somebody's gel."  (Not that they'd want used hair gel back.)

That's what we did, but unfortunately, it wasn't the good stuff.  It was more like water.  I parted my daughter's  extremely long hair and went to work.  I tried very hard to twist the hair just right, and position the bun against the side of my daughter's head, just behind the ear.  But of course, without the right stuff, it just didn't work right.  Nevertheless,  I sprayed it down with a half a can of hair spray.  "That'll have to do," I said and marched her over to the dance store owner for inspection.

She gave me a look.  I knew it wasn't going to be good news.  "First of all, the twist is supposed to start higher on the head," she said.

Okay.  Fine.

She continued.  "Second, I see a wispy (term for hair out of place)."

I nodded.  Couldn't argue that one.  There was indeed one hair out of place.

"Third, where is your hair net?"

"At home," I said.

"You failed," said the owner.  "Come back another day and try it again."

I'm crushed.  What an utter failure I am.   I'm going to go have a pity party now.  Would somebody else like to take over my job as a dance mom?


 

26 comments:

  1. Try on again! You can do it. I remember trying to do my daughter's very thick hair, it was a hard job. Now she is the one applying eye-liner to me!

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    1. I'd be scared to let my daughter apply eye liner on me!

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  2. I remember the time my husband had to do our daughters hair for a ballet exam as I was away. It took him hours, about a hundred clips and a can of spray but he did it! Sounds like yours is a whole lot tougher though, hope you pass next time.

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    1. Your husband managed to do their hair? I'm impressed!

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  3. This post scares me! My daughter is three, and she's starting to get interested in dance. I had no idea I would have to do her hair; I can barely do my own.

    Yikes...

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    1. As long as you don't get involved with competition teams, it's not too bad.

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  4. Good luck with your next try! :)

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  5. wow that sounds like a ton if hard work, but then failing is just one more way not to do it, good luck.

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  6. I'm sorry, but I can't take over. I was always a failure with The Hurricane's hair. I could manage a simple braid and that was it. It's a good thing she was more interested in painting. Art class didn't require costumes and make-up and hairdos.

    Love,
    Janie

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  7. I don't have girls, but I remember working many recitals. The girls make up has to be enough so they don't look washed out on stage. It is an undertaking.

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    1. It's crazy. First you have to take the color away (get rid of redness/blemishes), then you have to add color (foundation, bronzer, blush...) I think I can get a job as a makeup artist after all of this!

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  8. Sounds like there is a lot involved in getting your daughter ready for dance competitions. Good luck with getting the hair style perfected.

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  9. I already did my time with two daughters in ballet when they were younger. Ballet teachers can be picky.

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    1. It goes to a whole new level when competitions are involved!

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  10. When my daughter was younger she belonged to a dance troup that went around different holiday venues(we live on the coast so plenty around) This brought back memories of such happy times , thanks for sharing,


    I have something to confess, I am supposed to belong to the 1+circle but I don't know anything about it can you explain?

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It means you're part of google. So, if you post something on your blog, you can share it with your google friends, and they can read it through google. I haven't seen any posts from you, so I'm not sure if you're posting. Is your blog still up?

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  11. Yikes! I'm very simplistic when it comes to my hair and makeup routine, so I can't imagine how stressful this must have been. Good luck passing next time (and remembering the hairnet)!

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    1. I got four of them and stuck them in her makeup box!

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  12. haha i am a dance mom too--although robyn is not doing competition now--but awwww i remember it well---fortunately robyn hardly ever needed my help--or wanted it--my worst part, was those darn false eyelashes!

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    1. My daughter doesn't have to wear those yet, because she's not a teenager. Yay! Maybe she'll stop before she gets that far. I'm clueless about false eyelashes, because I've never worn them. (Actually, I've never curled my eyelashes either.) I'd say it's all crazy!

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  13. Gosh, it's so tough being a Mom. I can't even fix my own hair. Let alone someone else's. I'll fail that test with the hair. My husband told me recently when I cut his hair, "You're supposed to be good at this when you're good with the brushes, but you're really terrible with scissors." Haha..I feel bad for how his hair looked.

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