Do you know what a Furby is? I wanted to show you, but the thing is so evil, it wouldn't let me post a picture of it. (Actually, my computer seems to be malfunctioning, but we'll blame it on the Furby.)
A Furby is a supposedly adorable furry toy that has big ears, big eyes, is animated and talks. If you ask me, I'd say it looks like a cross between an alien and guinea pig. My dad got Bubba one for Christmas.
Last night, the thing was sitting on Bubba's bed in sleep mode. It looked very sweet and innocent with its eyes closed. I picked it up and put it on the book shelf. Big mistake. It woke up. Its eyes glowed with an insane white light, and it started muttering jibberish that only an alien could understand.
"Go to sleep," I told the creature.
It flapped its oversized ears and spun in a circle.
"Did you hear me? It's bed time. Go to sleep!"
It muttered something that I'm sure was alien profanity and made an evil Furby face at me.
"Bubba, come here and shut off your creature," I said.
Bubba skipped into the room. He started giggling. "Mama, he doesn't shut off."
"What? What kind of moron would design a toy that doesn't shut off?" Apparently a moron who's not a parent.
We sat there for five minutes while this creature hobbled and wobbled and stared at us with those scary white eyes.
"Bubba," I said. "Is it my imagination, or does that thing seem evil?"
Bubba grinned. "He's evil. I set him on evil mode."
So, we have a twisted toy designer out there. Nobody in their right mind would create a toy that doesn't have an off button. And nobody in their right mind would create a toy with an evil mode.
Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take out the batteries, and then I'm going to feed it to Schultz, our German Shepherd. I'm sure he'll have fun tearing it to smithereens!