Bonjour! Bienvenue a la classe de francais.
That means, "Hello! Welcome to French class," for all of you non-French speaking people out there.
My daughter has started taking French in school. Her teacher is a fabulous French-speaker from Quebec, Canada. Trouble is, her English isn't so good, and her French is really fast. My daughter has been completely confused.
"Mom, can you teach me French?"
"Uh, right," I said. I know enough to order a drink and ask for the check. And that's about it. "Are you sure you want me to do this?"
She nodded her head.
"All right," I said. "Let's start with the basics. Bonjour means, 'hello.' Comment vous appelez-vous means, 'What's your name?' Comment allez-vous means, 'How are you?'' I checked to make sure she had that.
I went on. "Here's how you say, 'Do you speak French: Parles-vous francais?' And you would reply, 'Non, je ne parle pas francais.'"
She looked at me funny. "Mom, what does that mean?"
I explained. "It means, 'No, I don't speak French.'"
"But Mom," she said. "Why would I say, 'No, I don't speak French' in French if I don't know French?"
She had a point. "Okay, then just say, 'desole.'" I said.
"Desole?" she asked. "What's that? Diesel? Am I supposed to say I have gas?"
I sighed. "No, it means, 'I'm sorry.' And now, girlfriend, French class is over, because if we keep on going, I'm going to start saying some French words that shouldn't be in your vocabulary!"