Last night, I took my kids to Texas Road House for dinner. We sat down and the nice waitress brought out a basket of bread and butter. I figured my kids would eat the bread like civilized human beings. My daughter did. But my son? He was a different story.
He dipped his finger into the little container of butter and started smearing it on his face.
"Bubba, what are you doing?" I asked.
He drew a nice little butter mustache above his lip. Then a beard. Pretty soon his face was covered in butter.
I looked at the kid. "Bubba. Seriously?"
"You need to shave that off right now, Bubba!"
Bubba giggled some more and grabbed a napkin. He curled up in the corner of the booth and started "shaving." Soon the napkin was covered in butter. But at least it was off his face.
"Now leave the butter alone and behave like a civilized person," I said.
He got a funny look in his eye and his finger started to make its way to the butter container. "I wonder how you would look with a butter beard, Mama."
I grabbed the butter super fast. "I don't know. But you're not going to find out!"