'Tis More Blessed Giveaway and The Stink Zone

I know I'm a day early for this, but tomorrow I'm going gold mining with the kids, so ya'll are getting an extra day to participate.

Every Friday in December, as part of the 'Tis More Blessed Giveaway, hosted by Milo James Fowler, I have given away free copies of both of my books (That Mama is a Grouch, and That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN) to one lucky winner. This is the last Friday of the month, and therefore the last chance to win.   Even if you already have copies, feel free to participate, because they could make great gifts for anyone you know.  Just leave a comment below for a chance to win.  These are hard copies of my book, and I am willing to mail them anywhere in the world.  Be sure to visit Milo to find out who else is participating and have a chance to win their books as well.

Now for the story:

My twelve-year-old daughter is a girly girl. She likes makeup, fashion, and perfume.  So for Christmas, I had the brilliant idea to get her a perfume-making kit.  I don't know what I was thinking, but it sounded like a good idea at the time.

She opened the package and discovered fourteen vials of oils, ranging from woody, to citrus, to floral smells.  "What do I do with these?" she asked.

"I think it would be a very good idea to read the directions and find out ."

She made a face and popped open one of the vials.  She gave it a good sniff.  "Ugh!"  she said.  "This smells like poop!"

I looked at the bottle.  Musk.  "That doesn't surprise me," I said.

She grabbed a citrus vile labeled, "Lemony."  She opened it up and took a whiff.  "Better."

Meanwhile, I had picked up the instructions and started reading.  I knew the girl wasn't going to do it, so I figured I'd better give her some guidance.  "Okay.  Here's a sample recipe.  You need five drops of Lemony, one drop of Mella, and six drops of Finalia."

She picked up a vile and suctioned up five drops.  She put it in the mixing cup.  "Mom," she said after she sniffed it.  "This doesn't smell like Lemony."

I took a sniff.  "Nope.  I think it's Mella."

"What do  I do?"

"Multiply all the totals by five."

I let her do her thing.  When she was done, I sniffed the finished product.  "Whoa.  That's strong!  What the heck did you put in there?"

"Fifteen drops of Lemony, twenty five drops of Mella, and six drops of Finalia."

I shook my head.  "Girl, do you not know how to multiply?"

She grinned.  "Yeah, but I think something is wrong with my nose, because it stinks in here and I can't smell a darn thing!"

(Uh huh.  And apparently sitting in the stink zone has adverse affects on one's brain, thereby decreasing one's ability to do math!)