It's official. I'm a vampire.
I've always suspected I might be, since I have very pale skin and dark hair. And I'm always cold. My hands are like ice. (When I used to Scuba dive in Cozumel, the dive masters had a great nickname for me: "La Vampira." They suspected I was a vampire, too.)
Anyway, my daughter came up behind me and shoved an onion in my face. I backed away from that thing quickly.
"You failed, Mom!" she said.
"Failed what?" I asked.
"The onion test. Vampires are afraid of onions, and you are clearly afraid of onions. Which makes you a vampire!"
Okay. There you have it. The indisputable evidence has proven that I am a vampire. Maybe I should go find a coffin to sleep in, now!