Mud Pie

"Mama, when you go to the store, could you get some pie tins?" my daughter asked.

"Why?  Are you planning on doing some baking?" I replied.

"No.  I'm going to make mud pies."

Okay.

I went to the store and got pie tins.  Afterwards, my daughter, son, and some of their friends went into the back woods to bake up their mud pie concoctions. I was pleased that they chose not to bring these things into the house.

"What did you do with your mud pies?" I asked when my kids came back inside.

"Oh, we fed them to the pumpkins," said my daughter.  "We're hoping the food will help them grow." (Our neighbors behind us threw their pumpkins from Halloween into our woods. Instead of cleaning them up, my kids are trying to grow a pumpkin patch.)

So maybe the mud pies are going to turn into pumpkin pies.  One can only hope!

He'll Be Dancing Around the Table When He Comes...

Yesterday morning, I was in Cleveland (which is why there was no post).  My family and I went out for breakfast at a place called the Mustard Seed.  It was a pretty neat place.  The lower level was a grocery store, but on the upper level, it was a buffet restaurant.  And there was a stage for musicians.

Lucky for us, a bluegrass band was the entertainment of the morning. And you know how catchy bluegrass fiddle music can be.  My son simply couldn't resist moving to the beat.  He stood up and started dancing around our table.

"Bubba," I said.  "What are you doing?"

"Dancing!"

I guess that was pretty obvious.

"Mama, come up and dance with me!"

I let the kid drag me up by the stage.  He went to town hopping around.  I couldn't just stand there.  Well, I guess I could've, but I decided to get a little crazy, too.  Pretty soon, my son and I were do-si-do-ing around the restaurant. 

The musicians laughed.  The customers eating their food clapped. The waitresses giggled.  We may have been a couple of nutcases from Cincinnati, but I think everyone enjoyed our show!   

New Food for the Pooch

Before I talk about my dog's new diet, I have a short advertisement:  My book,  That Mama is a Grouch, is being offered as a giveaway on the BookPlex website.  If you want to try for a free copy, please visit the link (you'll have to scroll down a bit to find my book). 

Now, back to the regularly scheduled programming.  This afternoon, my husband decided to get a sandwich from Subway.  Instead of eating it in the kitchen, he decided to chow down in his office.  He threw the wrappings and uneaten parts in the office garbage can.  Then he took off to do whatever he does.

Meanwhile, I was busy doing laundry and household chores - not exactly keeping an eye on our wayward German Shepherd.  As I passed by the office, I heard a strange sound.  I peeked in.  What do you think I saw?

Yep.  You guessed it.  Torn subway wrappers all over the floor.  Crumbs scattered everywhere.  The dog was having a ball chowing down on Subway rermains.

"Schultz!!!"

He looked up.  Uh, oh.  He knew he was in trouble.  He marched straight to his crate.

"And wipe that mayonaise off your snoot!"  I said as I locked the door behind him.

I guess a Subway sandwich was just too hard to resist!

Batting the Garage Door Open

When I walked out into the garage this morning, I noticed a baseball bat lying on the floor.

"Why is there a baseball bat in the middle of the garage?" I asked my seven-year-old son.

"I was trying to open the garage door."

"With a baseball bat?" 

"Yeah."

"What were you going to do?  Beat the door open?"  I couldn't believe he'd try to bust through a metal garage door.

"No, Mom, that's silly," my son said.  "I used it to reach the button.  I pressed the garage door opener with it."

Oh.  I guess I should give my kid more credit.  He's actually pretty inventive!     

Beating Up the Cake

It was my son's half-birthday today.  To commemorate the occasion, I baked a cake.  Normal people would use a boxed mix.  But I'm not normal.  I have to do everything from scratch.  Anyway, I pulled out the sugar and measured it.  Only the trouble was that the sugar was in a hard lumpy form.  I don't know what happened to it, but I didn't feel like going to the store to get a new bag.  So I beat it.  Literally.

"Mom," my son asked.  "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Um, killing the sugar?"

"Exactly."

I finished beating that stuff and got it pulverized pretty good. I made the cake, which actually turned out well.

As we ate it, my daughter made an interesting comment.  "Mom, next time can you make it denser?"

I looked at her funny.  "Why?"

"I'd like to conduct a science experiment and throw it off a cliff."

"What?" I asked, incredulously.

"Yeah.  We can test its mass by the amount of splat it leaves."

And I thought I was being violent with the cake!

A Use for the Dog

Our German Shepherd hasn't been a very useful dog.  He pretty much destroys everything, and leaves dirt and filth wherever he goes.

Today I found a use for him.  My kids had eaten a bowl of Cherios for breakfast, and quite a few of those oat "o's" had landed on the floor.

"Schultz," I said.  "Do something about those."

He looked at me like I had rocks in my head.

"Dog, look!"  I pointed to the Cherios on the ground.

Then he figured it out, and went to town.  He ate every single one of them.

"Good boy, Schultz!"

He wagged his tail.  Now if I can only get him to stop shedding and clean up his muddy paw prints! 

Boogie in the Roller Rink

I took my kids roller skating to let them burn off some steam. It was my son's second time.

This kid is a real hot shot.  He thinks he has all the moves.  So when the DJ announced free dance time in the center, my boy got right in the thick of things.  He was jamming with his hands in the air, rocking to the beat.  The teenagers there, thought he was pretty cool.  They started imitating his dance moves.

"Check that kid out!" I said.

My daughter took a look and started cracking up.  "What is he doing?"

"He's showing them some Bubba moves."

One little kid in an orange Harley sweatshirt on roller skates leading a group of about ten teenagers in the middle of the roller rink. What a sight!