Mama Diaries

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Orangutan Experiment

Both of my kids are sick today.  My daughter has a temperature of 101.6, and my son has a temperature of 102.7.  Not good!  After giving them some Motrin and Matzo Ball soup, they regained a little of their sense of humor.

"Mama, what's wrong with me?" my son asked.

"Bubba, you have a virus," I replied.

"Can you take me to the doctor so I can get rid of it?"

"There's no cure for viruses.  You just have to wait for your body to fight it."

He didn't like that answer.  "I'm going to be a scientist when I grow up, and I'm going to find a cure!"

"That's good," I said.  "I hope you succeed."

"Mama, which monkey is closest to a human?"

I wondered where this conversation was going.  "I believe orangutans are genetically closest to humans."  (I think I remember reading this fact somewhere, so if you want to confirm or correct this, please feel free.)

"I'm going to gather a bunch of orangutans and conduct some experiments on them.  First, I'll inject them with a virus.  Then I'll get every possible chemical there is, and inject it into them.  Something has to work!"

My daughter, the animal lover, objected.  "Bubba, that's cruelty to animals!  You can't do that.  Mom, don't let him do that!"

Okay.  So here's the plan.  We're going to round up all the orangutans and get them on a spaceship.  Then we're going to send them off to the Planet of the Apes, where they can live out their lives, free of my son's mad scientist experiments.  Does anybody want to help?

25 comments:

  1. You might want to round up all of the apes, just to be sure.

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  2. Replies
    1. Okay. You round up all the orangutans in your neck of the woods, and send them my way!

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  3. Your kids sound amazingly awesome. How old is your son?

    Sorry they're both sick. Me and my hubs are doing the sick thing today, but--luckily--the kids are all fine. It's just us old folks suffering. haha

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    1. My son is eight.

      Sorry you and your hubby are ill. I hope you feel better soon!

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  4. P.S. And, of course, i'm in for rounding up the apes. Should I just mail any I find to you?

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  5. Good solution. I think he had a creative solution, then went a little mad-scientist at the end.

    But his intention was good.

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    1. Maybe he'll tone down on the mad scientist part when he's an adult, and come up with a cure that won't harm any creatures.

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  6. Good luck with that, but it would be nice if he found a cure, experiment on rats.

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  7. Haha..maybe we could clone the orangutans first before sending them off (Just kidding). I love the way your kids think.

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    Replies
    1. That's a good idea. I'll have to run it by my son!

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  8. Sorry to hear both of your kids are sick. No fun.

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    Replies
    1. Definitely not fun! My son seems better. My daughter, however, is still sick.

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  9. Boo for the sickness!!! Love the story though and impressed by your adorable children! Glad to know about you and look forward to keeping in touch. :)

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! Hope you stay warm in Russia. I hear it's cold there!

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  10. even when they are sick--they are so darn cute!!! hope all are feeling better now<3

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    1. My son is, but my daughter is still sick.

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  11. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit tired today. Rounding up orangutans will have to wait till I'm better rested.

    Love,
    Janie

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