Schultz's Dinner

Schultz, our enormous German Shepherd, has been on a rampage lately.  I don't know what his malfunction is, but he is having some serious issues with staying out of trouble.  A couple of days ago, he went to the pet store, and knocked over a whole shelf of goldfish food with his big, bushy tail.  Yesterday, I caught him digging up one of the plants in my garden.  And did I mention how filthy he's been getting?  Maybe he thinks that he can do whatever he wants now that Santa's already been here with a delivery of treats for his stocking. 

Anyway, today's episode involved food - human food.  I was attempting to make spaghetti. As I pulled the noodles out of the box, a bunch fell onto the floor.  Guess who was there to clean up?  Yep.  Schultz.  Apparently he likes munching on uncooked spaghetti noodles.

"Schultz, yuck!" I said.

He cocked his head and kept crunching.  He ate about a third of a box of those things.

Later, my son put his vanilla milkshake on the kitchen chair.  I don't know why he did this, but I didn't catch it.  Schultz did.  When I walked into the room, there was Schultz, with his big snoot in the cup, licking up the milkshake.

"Schultz!" I hollared.  "What do you think you're doing?"

He pulled his snoot out of the cup and looked at me.  His black face was covered with splotches of vanilla ice cream.  He put his snoot back in and licked some more.

"Oh no you don't," I said.  "Crate!" 

I confiscated the milkshake and locked him up in jail.  That's where he's going to stay for a very long time!