Potato Chip Muncher

I had left a bag of potato chips on the kitchen table. They were supposed to be for the party. Well, I stepped out of the room for two minutes. Guess who decided he wanted a snack? My big old German Shepherd. That's who. When I came back, that stupid dog had his big old snoot in the potato chip bag. "Schultz!" I yelled. "What are you doing?" He took his snoot out of the bag and finished chomping a potato chip. He gave me a look like, What do you think I'm doing? I grabbed that bag and looked inside. The chips were almost all gone. "You stupid varmint. Now there's none for the party!" He looked at me and burped. And then do you know what he did? He threw up! I kid you not. All over my nice carpet. "Serves you right, dummy," I said. "But you could've at least vomitted outside." Ugh. That dog!