Mama Diaries

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Cleaning the Air

My son left a little present in the toilet for me two days ago.  I didn't find it until today.  (He's been out of town with his dad.)   When I walked in the bathroom, I was assaulted by a putrid odor. 

"Ugh!  That's disgusting!" my daughter said when she got a whiff of it.  She immediately ran and found two bottles of perfume.  She sprayed a half a bottle of one, and a half a bottle of another. 

"What are you trying to do?" I asked.  "Kill me?"

"No, Mom.  That's the worst smell I've ever smelled in my life!  I'm trying to cover it."

Right.

I plunged some more, trying to get the toilet unblocked.   It took me a full hour to get that thing to flush. 

Meanwhile, my daughter got three more cans of air freshener and sprayed them.  Then she got some Lysol and Scrubbing Bubbles and sprayed those.

It smelled absolutely awful.  Even Schultz, our German Shepherd, was gagging.   (I quickly let him out of the house so I wouldn't have any other messes to clean up!)

As I finished cleaning up, my daughter came with yet another bottle and started spraying.

"That's enough, already!" I said.  "We're going to end up with lung cancer breathing all these chemicals!"

"But Mom, it's water!  I'm cleaning the air, now!"

(So ladies and gentlemen, if you were planning to visit my abode today, I would highly advise that you do something else.  I have opened all the portals, and am now abandoning the ship!)   

29 comments:

  1. That must have been so awful to deal with, but I have to say that reading about it made me laugh out loud—especially the last paragraph! I hope your house is clear now. :)

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    1. Yes. A few hours with the portals open did wonders!

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  2. There is prudence in knowing when to jump ship!

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    1. Yes. It was definitely the smart thing to do!

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  3. It does happen sometimes. But your post was fun to read!

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  4. I never knew what death smelled like, until Spawn left me a little present in the toilet.

    'Cleaning the air'. I swear your kids are natural born writers in the making. :)

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    1. My kids are unbelievably creative!

      (I'm sure Spawn's present was not one that was appreciated ;))

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  5. Ah, the joys of raising kids! Since my two have gone on to college, I'm the only one who does that sort of thing around here nowadays. And that's something I can't blame the dog for.

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    1. Why not? Tell your wife he's potty trained! ;)

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  6. Children and dogs are a sure way to get days like that.
    Hope all is well now.

    Yvonne.

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    1. Briefly saw your Guitar Man poem. How nice of you to honor Alex!

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  7. Even schultz ran away, way really trying to kill off the critters at your bay haha

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    1. It's pretty bad when Schultz can't stand it!

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  8. Wow! I feel for you, but I'm grateful I can't smell for you.

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Yikes! Those are indeed the worst type of presents.

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  10. LOL! When the dog abandons ship, you know it's time to start panicking.

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  11. Yikes! As someone who's sensitive to all kinds of scents--I can't even stand most perfumes--I can't help but pity your nose right now!

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  12. Whoa, oh no! Sorry I can't help laughing while reading this..especially that part with Schultz gagging, so funny. :)

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    1. I thought for sure Schultz was going to lose his lunch!

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