Food Medusa

Yesterday, I was rummaging through the refrigerator to find something to make for dinner. That's when I spotted some tuna steaks. I pulled those things out and started to find a pan. Just then my husband came in the kitchen. "Woman!" he bellowed. "Stay away from the tuna!" "Why?" I asked. "Because you'll destroy them!" "Will not!" I said, getting defensive. "Will, too!" he said. "Don't even look at them. They'll turn to stone!" "What are you talking about?" "You're the food medusa. And you're not going to kill these expensive tuna steaks!" Apparently he was referring to the time I baked the Easter ham with the wrapper still on it. (And the last time I overcooked his fancy filets.) All right. Fine. I'll leave the darn tuna steaks alone. But he's not getting one teeny tiny piece of the chocolate cake I'm baking!