Well folks, I hate to say it, but I've been sick for the last four days. I guess all that bushwhacking wore me down. My body couldn't handle an attack from some itty bitty bacteria and I fell apart. The good news is, I went to the doctor and got a good dose of powerful antibiotics. The bad news is that I look like...well, I won't say what I look like, but it isn't good.
My son saw me in my decrepid state. "Mama," he said. "What's wrong? Your eyes are black."
"Really?" Last time I checked they were blue with some red bloodshot veins popping through.
"Yeah. You look like a zombie."
I looked in the mirror. There were dark circles under my eyes. Maybe that's what he was talking about. I had to chuckle at his comment, though. "Bubba, I don't look like a zombie. I look like a vampire!"
My son considered that. "No. You look like a vampire zombie."
All right then.
So, ladies and gentlemen, if you see me running down the highway, acting kind of strange, the best advice I can give you, is to get away as fast as you can! There's no telling what I might do.