Speaking Dog

"Schultz!  Stop it right now!  I don't like what you're doing!"  These were the words of my seven-year-old son to our 16 month old German Shepherd.

"What's the varmint doing?" I asked.

"He's trying to bite my hand and eat my toy."

"Tell him to sit and drop it."

"I did.  And he didn't listen."

I scowled at the dog.  "Schultz, sit."

He sat.

"Next time, I'm going to try speaking dog," my son said. "Maybe he just doesn't understand my English."

"And how would you speak dog?" I asked.

"Like this:  Woof...Woof...Woof, woof, woof, woof!"

Schultz cocked his head.

"See, he's listening. He understands!"