Snake Food

"Mom," my daughter said as she ran into the house. "We need snake food."

"What?" I replied. This didn't sound good. "Why do we need snake food?"

"We have a snake living in the backyard."

"So?"

"But we need to help him."

"Listen," I replied. "I've been feeding a frog, fish, a rescued box turtle, a rescued cat, a dog, and a bird. I even fed that raccoon before he ate all of that Halloween candy and knocked himself off. I don't need to feed a snake."

"Please. We have to take care of him."

"If he's living in our backyard, the dog will take care of him."

End of story.